SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: How to help a child who is alone?
In the company of their peers, children who play or do their own business stand out, so they unknowingly choose a comfort zone for themselves. They are not alone. If a person is happy to be with him, then this is not loneliness. If you want to communicate, but not with anyone, then problems.
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The first feelings associated with a feeling of loneliness come to children during periods when they leave their usual circle of friends and separate from people close to them. This is the time when they start going to kindergarten or school.
Parents' task at this time is to teach children to share their experiences, to pronounce their feelings. It is this ability that can protect a child from loneliness among his peers.
The child must be sure that his relatives really need him, that his interests, fantasies, dreams and feelings are important to them.
Loneliness is a multifaceted phenomenon, and only one of them has a positive side: children are comfortable with themselves and the lack of communication is their voluntary choice. Everything else is a tragic story.
Possible causes of a child's loneliness
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1. Loneliness at home.
Parents are busy, you can't walk alone. Even when adults are at home, you hear "Find something to do" or "Don't get in the way." Children feel their uselessness and at the same time loneliness.
If the child does not feel part of the family, part of the world around him, then it will be very difficult for him to establish contact with others.
Loneliness is experienced differently if you are behind a loving family.
2. Choice of friends.
Often parents force a child into solitude by constantly criticizing their friends and dictating with whom they can be friends and with whom they cannot. Only not everything is so simple.
Some people are not interested, others are not friends. And again loneliness.
3. Unskilled communication skills.
Children do not know how to communicate: they are rude, they do not know how to bestow, share, play.
Other children avoid being companions of this type of children and even parents advise them not to be.
The true causes of loneliness cannot be seen. A child cannot play with his peers for years. Perhaps the source of alienation was the limitations they imposed on their children in kindergarten or elementary school. It is difficult to detect the causes and it is even more difficult to solve. But to do this you need to help.
How to help.
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* Be sensitive.
Try to understand what is happening to the child at the moment: he does not need to communicate or his peers do not accept it. Do it gently, observing the child, communicating with him.
Pay attention to children's self-esteem. If a child shares a problem, don't rush to solve it by ridiculing or telephoning the teacher, but think about how to fix the situation.
* Start with your child's self-esteem.
It is important to instill confidence in him. Just do it with care and patience. Improving self-esteem is a complex and lengthy process.
Tell us about your experience: about friends, give an example of maintaining the friendship between mom and dad.
Start teaching your child how to treat friendship as a value.
* Think of possible friends.
Surely in the classroom, in the parents' group of friends there are children who are cute with the child, she shares, but there is no way to be friends. Think about starting a friendship: invite home, share a gift. Friendship means bestowal. Support the child's initiative.
* Teach your child to communicate, develop communication skills.
Your child should be interesting to his peers and then he will make friends.
If a child is loved and respected in the family, listens to his needs, cultivates a respectful attitude towards others, develops communication skills, then he will avoid the problems of loneliness. If the child is loved in the family and is no longer alone, temporary difficulties are overcome.
Thanks for this great work. As you rightly illustrate here, we must always support those who do not feel happy in school, it is also part of our work as teachers.