A MUST READ- 8 Secrets To A Happy Relationship

I will be leaking out "8 Secrets To A Happy Relationship" to you today which will be helpful to grow a dormant relationship.

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Many have complained of not having a good relationship with their partner because they are not following some basic rules which "must" be followed.

These secrets are...

(1.) COMMUNICATION

This is among the basics and very very important part.
It's a role a partner must play so as to forward a relationship.
I could remember when I was going through some quotes by Epictetus and one got my attention most, it said: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Now how many couples can you count that communicates with their partners at a good rate, I don't mean just, "How was your day honey" but knowing what's happening in partner's world, what matters to him/her, what they might be stressed or scared about?

At that point you begin to check-in your partner and have a feeling of what's goings-on in their head, you can understand why they may be acting in a particular way or responding to situations at a particular time.
Sometimes you can get stuck in your relationship because your version of understanding the world may be different from that of your partner. So when you communicate with your partner on a regular basis you can fix out some issues and stay abreast of what issues are bothering them, also how you can be a best partner to them.

(2.) HONESTY

I once knew a woman, a neighbor to me at my old apartment who goes to an eatery every evening before her husband comes back from work to buy food for the family because she had told her husband she was a perfect cook when they were first dating. It wasn't until the day the manager of the eatery declared a holiday to his workers, hence the eatery was shut down that day.
She had no other choice than to try a cooking that day which her husband came back to meet and complained it was not actually good compared to the previous preparations, and she was just stucked in a disappointed and sad mood.
Luckily, he laughed it off, went close to her, held her hand and told her that he loved her even if she was not able to prepare a good food and if she's only told him sooner, she could have saved herself years of 6pm food buying session!

Honesty in a relationship is not so much a secret but common sense. You must be honest to your partner and vice versa. Honesty builds trust, it's the essential block for building a longer lasting relationship.
Sometimes, especially in the beginning stages of relationship, we might not want to 'let on' some facts about us to our partners so as to count ourselves perfect in the face of our partner but these does not last and might be opened up someday and result to issues between both partners.

(3.) COMPASSION

When you're compassionate you can put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand their feelings that moment instead of showcasing a harsh behavior and riding into conclusion.

A popular artist, Genevieve Lill once gave an excellent advice about actively using compassion in your behavior with your partner.

She said: “Take the highest worldview whenever possible — is winning an argument worth diminishing your partner? Or would you rather go to all lengths, including overriding your own egotistical needs, to make him/her feel happy and secure?”

Being compassionate doesn't mean you should throw away your opinions or needs for the sake of pleasing your partner, No, that's not the meaning, it means you adapt your communication approach to suit the situation and both be given the space to share each other's thoughts and feelings.

(4.) RESPECT

I think Aretha said it best, “All I’m askin, is for a little respect!”

When you respect your partner, guess what? You value everything about them including them, I mean you value their opinion, their impact on your life, their work, their words, also their very being. And when someone feels valued, they feel accepted and loved.

And I can remember Loveisrespect.org says: “Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships”.

Respect is a beautiful thing to have in a relationship, I will also add that you should let your partner know you respect him/her because it results to happy days.

Feeling a lack of respect, not being valued that your opinions or voice matters and that you aren't worthy of respect in a relationship is incredibly bad and damaging. If you feel any of these, I can strongly predict you aren't happy.

(5.) FORGIVENESS

I can assure you that being able to forgive and for your partner to forgive you could be the biggest secret to a truly happy relationship.

An expert psychologist called Lucy Firestone says:
“Studies have shown that couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying romantic relationships. Research has even found that people who practice unconditional forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer lives.”

Just take a deep breath right now and think about a time when your partner has gotten you upset in ways. Think about your reactions, which are anger, frustration and restlessness you felt during that time. Did you feel well? No. Imagine being uncomfortable for years and what it can do to your mindset, majorly your health.

If you're not able to consider forgiveness instead of grudges on your partner for what they have done to you, you should change your mind today, learn, forgive and move on together, leaving the hurt behind, you will surely enjoy a true relationship.

(6.) ROMANCE

Most people crave for love, affection and romance. But even if you don't consider yourself as a romantic person, you should try to do something, maybe through actions, words or some other demonstrations that are ok to you and also makes your partner feel special.

There are five main ways Gary Chapman, Creator of the 5 love languages said that individuals express love. They are:

• Receiving gifts

• Words of Affirmation

• Acts of Science

• Quality time

• Physical touch

So for some people simply buying of flowers every now and then is a reminder of how you love and care for them, for others making of tea for your partner is a romantic gesture. Some just need more hugging and kissing, others prefer an evening walk together is romantic.

Each would find out their balance of what "romance" means to them, the secret is that each partner should find what is more important to the other and try balancing each other.

(7.) SHARED VALUES

Understanding your partner's values is very important to as for you to know their motivations- what motivates them. By understanding your own values and what really matters to you in a relationship, you can evaluate if your relationship is one that is going to stand the test of time, or whether it’s doomed to fail from the beginning.

When you and your partner have different values, you’re looking at the world differently, you’re prioritising differently, you’re spending time and energy in different ways.

If you value courage highly and your partner is afraid of life, you can have an issue. If kindness is value that you rate very high and you're constantly embarrassed how unsympathetic and rude your partner is, you might have an issue. If your partner values Affection more than everything else and you don't like to be touched then you might have an issue.

(8.) FUN

If you're not having fun then what's the point? Really. Life is to be fully enjoyed!

If your partner in life is the person you have the most fun with- then remind each other what that feels like. You see, with mortgages, children, bills one ought to pay and jobs to attend to and everything life throws at you, fun is sometimes far down the list of priorities.

When you do not have fun together, and just living the daily grind, you begin to forget about the things that sparked your love and got you attracted to your partner at the very first beginning.
So make a time for fun, it mustn't have to be an expensive holidays or elaborate date nights, even a Sunday drive to a place you both have always enjoyed or a movie night or karaoke night together is better. Be spontaneous and enjoy each others company.

Making time for fun in your relationship can give you both space to be yourselves, smile and be happy together.

If you're having problems in your relationship, with this secrets you've known today, I think you can start a better one today.