Resentment is a feeling that everyone experiences sooner or later. For some, it becomes a motivation for change, and for others it gnaws, forcing each time to live unpleasant events. One way or another, this feeling destroys us over time. But how to stop being offended if the wound is very deep? We will tell you what the danger of latent resentment is and how to learn to forgive.

What is being offended?

Being offended is a natural human reaction that occurs in conjunction with emotions such as anger and grief. Anger , a feeling of unfair insult is caused in relation to the offender, accompanied by an emotion of resentment . Psychologists believe that it arises as a result of unjustified hopes and expectations. But expectations and the concept of "how is right" are individual, which means that the offense is not always justified.

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The root of the problem lies in false expectations and in the fact that the feeling of resentment occurs consciously, that is, it is caused by a person on purpose. So, it is up to us to decide whether to be offended by something or not.

Negative emotions experienced when upset affect mental health : they increase irritation, cause psychological clamps, complexes, and provoke negative thinking. How to cope with resentment, to make the world easier for yourself and others, read on.

To understand how to get rid of resentment, you first need to understand the root of its occurrence. There are several reasons:

Childhood trauma.

Almost all psychological problems of a person, complexes , uncertainty conceal their essence in childhood traumas. The child's psyche is very unstable, as it is just being formed, so every rash word can deeply hurt. It is important to deal with childhood grievances, and not carry this burden all your life.

They arise from those who are given little time, or, conversely, whose whims are constantly indulged. Then the child realizes that everything can be achieved with pouting lips.

At an older age, children are very offended if adults treat them unfairly or do not keep promises.

A blow to vanity.

Resentment appears when trust is undermined, there is a feeling of betrayal. Hoping for someone else's words, we trust people and expect the proper return, but we do not always get it. By exposing our feelings, we are not ready to hit.

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When events do not develop in the way we imagine. The opinion that people perceive the world and act the same way as we do is wrong. Attempts to rebuild people "for themselves" and impose their values ​​are a sign of selfishness, which is unlikely to be crowned with success.

Unexpressed feelings.

Resentment is a collection of anger, anger, sadness, misunderstanding, and other unexpressed emotions. Restraining anger during a quarrel , without expressing dissatisfaction, without expressing anger, we try not to spoil relations with people, but in this turn we restrain all the negativity in ourselves. The result is accumulated resentment, which sooner or later will make itself felt.

How to Prevent

Instead of bearing grief and thinking how to take revenge on the person who offended you, it is better to take care of how to prevent the appearance of such an emotion at all.

Remove the mask. To stop accumulating negativity, it's time to learn how to express emotions " here and now ." Don't be afraid to express feelings and say what's really on your mind. A person needs to release negativity as well as to express positive emotions . It is important to remember that it is better to express an opinion now than to dump a lump of accumulated emotions later.

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Accept people for who they are. Without raising expectations and not leveling others for yourself, you can get rid of unnecessary disappointments and save yourself from unwanted resentment. We need to understand that people are not obliged to give us what we require of them.

It's easier to perceive things. Resentment is everyone's business in the truest sense of the word. If you do not waste time dwelling on the unpleasant and simply let go of everything that bothers us, then it can be prevented. The sooner you get rid of a useless gravitating emotion, the easier life will become.

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