The person who hurts you the most is often the "most familiar" person

There is a saying that the closer you are, the more someone will want to hurt you.

The relationship between those people is very beautiful. If you choose to get too close, you'll end up getting hurt and getting nothing.

And if you choose not to be close, or too isolated, then you will cut off contact with this person, and you will never be in contact with each other from time to time.

In these two more extreme situations, most people actually prefer the first situation over the second.

People are too close to each other, what kind of interpersonal relationships are there?

It can be said that our relationship with our parents, our relationship with our partner, our relationship with our children, are all very closely related to our daily family life.

But why is it that the closer the relationship between people is, the easier it is to "love and kill each other"?

Like couples who love each other, why do they always feel disgusted after all this time together, or indifferent to marriage?

The most important reason is that once people get too close to each other, the world they see becomes smaller, and the image of the other person they see becomes distorted.

In fact, let us listen to what people have to say.

Mr. Thakur: I will be disgusted by my family for a long time

Mr Thakur is a freelance worker, and his studio is right next to his house, so the distance between him and his family is relatively close.

Every morning, Thakur walks back to the studio for a few minutes, then works with the workers for half a day, returns home and has dinner with his parents.

The same thing happened in the afternoon.

Therefore, the trajectory of Mr Thakur's daily life is only two points and one line. One street, one house, one office.

In such a life, Thakur gradually came into conflict with his family, and the conflict became even more intense.

My parents dislike Mr Thakur and feed him too little each month, only $ 50. But Thakur believes that this is the limit he can bear.

And Thakur also had conflicts with his brothers and sisters. Since one of her younger brothers couldn't find a job and didn't have any abilities, she thought about working at the Thakur studio.

However, Mr. studio. Thakur was only a small studio, and it was impossible to invite people who could not afford to work to join him.

Therefore, the more contact Thakur had with his family, the more acute the conflict between them.

In response to this situation, Thakur once said emotionally: "I think he is working hard outside and his family can support him in some ways. But in the end, what he got was not only to humiliate his family, but also internal and external compulsion from his own situation. . "

In fact, there are actually many people like Mr Thakur.

They all fall in love and kill each other for being too close to a few people.

These people are like two prickly hedgehogs, if the two of them don't pay attention, they will hug each other, then injure each other, stab the whole body.

In such an incident, most people feel helpless and very difficult.

It's like facing your family. You cannot be isolated, and you cannot stay close. So what should you do? If they can't think of a way, they can only live helplessly.

Then, this must be analyzed from the psychological point of view of human nature.

If a person has abilities and abilities, then certain people close to him will flatter him on the surface and envy him behind the scenes.

A person, if he is unable or unable, believes that even though he is at home, he is like the "God of the Plague".

If you want to solve this problem, you should start from three aspects.

First, actively compromising with other parties.

Many people think that taking the initiative to compromise with others means allowing oneself to show weaknesses, and letting others take advantage of them, so that others can make a difference.

In fact, in dealing with relatives who have a certain relationship with you, choosing a compromise is the best policy.

Because the relationship between family members is different from external relations. Once you have a conflict with your family, if you can't resolve it in time, you will end up in a "broken and hard to reconcile mirror".

Second, there should be a "bowl of chicken soup" between the two sides.

Whether facing friends or relatives, however, the closer they are, the more they hurt each other. This way, let the distance be moderate, and you will live a more comfortable life.

The so-called “bowl of chicken soup” is the distance you bring the chicken soup to him, still warm, but not too hot.

Only if it is not too hot and indifferent can people live in harmony.

Third, strengthen your own strength.

Most people think that no matter whether someone is capable or not, they will be rejected by others. So, right now, strength could tell you everything.

Because behind the power is not only the benefit, but also an effective means of making others respect you.

Whether it's a close family member to you or a friend, as long as you are valuable and have certain material benefits, other people will respect you and treat you as an idol.

So, starting from human psychology, we can see the truth of this and see the nature of life.