ART OF NOT EXPECTING: WAY TO HAPPINESS

In today’s fast-flowing global world, everyone is looking for an answer to the question: “How to be happy?” and when you type it to google there are 7.730.000.000 results, which means that people are in search of a response of this simple-looking but complex question. You probably realized when you go into those websites, they often list things as: be positive, always smile, etc. And you also probably realized they do not work as they meant to. I will tell you a simple method with concrete examples, which is the real solution for being happy: Not Expecting.

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash
I want to start with what Shakespeare had said, “I always feel happy. You know why? Because I don’t expect anything from anyone! Expectations always hurt…”. What is meant by expectations can differ from person to person. I want to give some real-life examples to make it more clear to you.

Imagine you are walking on your way home, and you saw a friend passing by his/her car in the same direction. Do not make that mistake and expect him to pick you up. He may not have noticed you, or he may be in a rush and not have enough time to stop to pick you up, or a simpler explanation he may not want it. After all, he doesn’t have to do it. However, if you expect him/her to pick you up as it is his/her responsibility, you will be disappointed when he/she doesn’t, and you might even think bad about him/her which could affect your relations. On the other hand, if you do not put yourself into this expectation and condition yourself to walk, you will be surprised and become happy if he/she comes to pick you up because the human mind loves surprises, and that is a scientifically proven phenomenon.

The example above is one of the smallest daily-life applications of the theory of not expecting. You can almost apply it to anything, but I would like to mention one more situation which I believe every person has been in once: LOVE. Although it is proven that love is chemical and related to people’s hormones, I will treat it as it is known by many and apply our theory of not expecting here as well. I am sure many of you got the idea already, but anyway let’s make sure everyone else gets it. We love. It is in our nature. Some of us are loved back, but the rest aren’t, and then you see those people getting into depression, becoming alcoholics, etc. Why does this happen? Our theory pops-in right here. When a person loves, he/she automatically starts seeking a love-back and gets sad when he/she can’t find what he/she is seeking. The solution is easy: not getting in this expectation. Then, there are 2 options:
1-Positive which will make you happy because you were not expecting it
2-Negative which will be ok with you as again you were not expecting anything
Being happy is as simple as that. I am not saying to be a total desperate but to lower your expectations so that you will not get disappointed because
“Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations.”
-Unknown-