Good for you for putting this out into the universe. I am the same way. I can not control myself. I think I can, but when it comes down to actually doing it, oh hell no! I have been telling myself the past year that I can control my opiate use. Just a little here and there, and I will be fine. Well that is not how it went down. But it is important to recognize that fact, and learn from it. I have put everything down, and now only use cannabis. I am also starting to go to meetings. It feels great when you take control. Your a smart dude and I know you got this, but if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. One day at a time brother.