Greetings from me to all friends! Anyway, I hope all of you will be fine. By the grace of Allah, I am also fine.

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Family

Man cannot live alone to live in society. That is why a system of living with human beings has been created which has been in use for centuries. Under this system, a person establishes relationships in a society in order to live in a society. Builds a separate home of his own and then becomes the manager of that home, trying to run the home system efficiently. This system is called family. This can include close and blood relatives of any human being. The head of the family is usually the eldest or eldest person.

Family Quarrels

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Our society is currently in crisis in many ways. We suffer from a variety of economic, social, political and religious problems. However, many of these problems are self-inflicted. The top issue is family disputes. These quarrels are usually between husband and wife and mother-in-law. Their seriousness is devastating in many ways. First of all, it destroys the peace of mind of all the members of a family. As a result, other aspects of life are also affected.

These conflicts, when protracted and routine, have a devastating effect on children. These effects do not leave them behind. Then when families are separated as a result of such quarrels, spouses are separated, the life of every person concerned is severely affected. Therefore, I want this issue to be discussed in detail in today's meeting.

Let me make it clear that it is not possible to say anything in principle about a quarrel that arises in a particular house. The reason for this is that matters are different everywhere. Every human being differs in his training, temperament and habits, therefore It is not possible to say in principle where the cause of the quarrel is, but there are some general things which, if taken care of, can prevent matters from getting worse.

Adjustment training

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Usually in our country such problems start immediately after marriage. The reason for this is to ignore a basic fact. The fact is that in our social background, after marriage, a girl has to leave her home and go to live with her in-laws. For a girl, this is the beginning of a new life. She has an idea of ​​living with her home and her husband. But the fact is that the girl is less of a man's wife and more of a daughter-in-law of another family. No matter how undesirable this may be, it is still a social reality in our country.

This fact means that the girl is not starting a new life with her husband but is becoming part of a family. There are some ways of this family, there are etiquettes of meeting and giving, there is a circle of relationships, there is a way of living and eating, there is a way of doing things. While the girl who comes, even if it is a relative, often comes from a different background. Now if the girl understands this fact and tries to adjust to the new situation, then there is not much problem. But as soon as she wants to ignore this fact and live her own life, quarrels must break out.

It is a basic fact that every parent should make their daughter aware that our society is not like the western or Arab society where boy and girl start their life. In our society, a girl should have a queen to adjust with her husband as a father-in-law. A girl who understands this usually leads a very successful life.

Daughter and daughter-in-law

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If the adjustment is the responsibility of the newcomer, then the in-laws should also keep in mind that the girl has left her home bar and relatives and come to this house with the idea of ​​a new life. It is an exaggeration to call him to immediate accountability. He should be given a chance to adjust to the new situation. In the meantime, he will make mistakes, he will be mistaken and he may have done something unpleasant, but he should get a discount.

Unfortunately, this is not often the case with us. Usually a mother-in-law goes through bad situations herself. She has not seen good things from her father-in-law and mother-in-law, so she decides that the same thing must happen to her daughter-in-law. But since the time has passed twenty-five years ago, the daughter-in-law of the new age strongly resists her mother-in-law and then quarrels break out.

For example, if a woman is prevented from going to Mecca by her mother-in-law, she often does the same with her daughter-in-law. Similarly, if all the workload has been put on her, then she does the same with her daughter-in-law. However, there is another side to the problem. That what happened to this woman, if he was bad for her at the time, would be more unpleasant for this new age girl twenty-five years later.

The biggest thing to remember is that our women set different standards for daughters and daughters-in-law. It is said in the hadith that whatever you like for yourself, you should choose for your brother. If women keep this in mind, they will know that what they want for their daughter, they should like for the other's daughter, who is now their daughter-in-law. If someone has abused him or his daughter, it is not appropriate to take revenge on this new girl. If oppression has happened to her, if she has endured the arrows of satire and abuse, if she has endured the grief of separation from her parents, if she has endured the trauma of her husband's indifference, then it is not her fault. All these things have to be taken into account from this new girl. Rather, it is their responsibility to treat her well and start a better tradition.

Everyone has to share

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One of the main causes of domestic disputes is often the man who is the husband of a woman on the one hand and the son and brother of another on the other. The reason for the dispute is often over who has more rights over this man. Of wife or mother The only solution to this problem is for everyone to make some sacrifices. The girl should know that the boy who has become her husband today is also the son of another woman and brother of someone else. They have nurtured and educated him. Therefore, the rights of these people over this person are very high. Therefore, they should never be objected to.

In the same way, in-laws should keep in mind that spouses have a privacy. It is unnatural to keep them under surveillance at all times, to try to keep the wife away from the husband, to interfere in their personal affairs, which does not work out well.

In the same way, children's issues also cause disagreement. New girls want to raise children in their own way and old women justify their experience and likes and dislikes. The grandmother caresses and the mother thinks the baby is getting worse. The mother beats the child for some reason and this is cruelty to the grandmother. The solution to these things is not easy because everyone understands their right more. The important thing is that each party should accept the other's right and take the path of adjustment.

Spousal differences

It often happens that the couple's moods and habits do not match. That is, they become the real parties to the conflict. One of the reasons for this is that the boy's mother and sisters often carry a gun on the boy's shoulder instead of being a party. That is, complaining about a girl in front of her brother and son, losing her faults and crying about her abuses. Similarly, as soon as the wife comes home, she opens the box of complaints in front of her husband. If a boy defends his parents and siblings, he also gets into an argument.

In addition, the marriage of choice usually leads to marital discord. This is because love is about equality. On the contrary, the man has to stay a little lower and raise the pride of the opposing side. While the marital relationship is not equal. The Qur'an makes it clear that in this relationship the head of the house is in the hands of the man. The wife must obey him anyway. While the woman expects an equal relationship before marriage. This reduces the love relationship and creates chaos.

Most of our men also abuse their power. They are only aware of their rights. They do not see any right of wife. They beat him whenever they want, stop him from going to Mecca, humiliate him for his weaknesses, abuse him. However, if the religion demands obedience from the woman, then it has made it clear to the man that it is obligatory on him to adopt the attitude of kindness and forgiveness. If they do not, they will appear before God as criminals. Religion has taught the husband and wife that if both of them follow it, then the relationship between husband and wife, which is actually a love relationship, cannot be hated.

Following ethical principles

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The causes of family disputes are innumerable, but the real problem is that each of the parties concerned is living in violation of moral principles. In our country, humiliating people, making fun of them, suspicion, curiosity, backbiting, gossip and slander are not considered as moral evils. If we ever analyze the conversations of our women, we will find that most of the conversations consist of these things. These are the things that sow the seeds of hatred and discord in the hearts. Divides people and destroys families.

These are exactly the reasons for the differences we have described above. That is, all parties stick to their ego and stubbornness. In order to humiliate the other, they try to make him bad by crossing all the moral boundaries and in this process they adopt all the moral evils, after which no one can attain success in the Hereafter.

The solution to this problem is for those who teach religion to explain to people that the real religion is adherence to these moral values. Without it, other good deeds of human beings are also lost.

Divorce law

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Pages are short and this topic is important. Therefore, it is important to state one last thing that if things get so bad that love disappears from the heart, then every person and especially every man should be aware of the law of divorce in religion. Because just not being aware of this one thing creates so many serious problems that have no limits. We face all these problems day and night in which people divorce their wives three times and then run from place to place wondering what to do now.

In this regard, the law of religion is so beautiful that Kodal wants to give free will. And this is the law which people of every sect and sect believe to be the right law. That is, when a marriage is to be terminated, a man must first see whether his wife is pure from the days. If so, the second thing to look at is whether a marital relationship has been established in this state of purity. If it has happened, he should wait for the next few days and when the wife becomes pure, he should divorce her once in the presence of two witnesses, while the relationship between the husband and wife has not been established.

After that, the woman will remain in 'iddah for three menstrual periods. If the relationship improves, the two can live together with satisfaction. This is called referral. A man can divorce his wife twice in the same way and return to his wife within three months. If he divorces her for the third time, she will never be able to marry him again. Yes, she may remarry and then in case of widowhood or divorce, she can get married to this man, otherwise not. This means three divorces. It is not that whenever a divorce is to be granted, the word divorce should be uttered three times. The beauty of this one-time divorce method is that if the quarrel ends in three months, stay together. After three months, the woman is free to marry wherever she wants. And if she wants, she can remarry the same man.

In our country, since divorce means three divorces, after which there is no other way but halala, people keep crying. However, if the method of religion is adopted, there will never be any problem. In any case, if the couple regrets the divorce or the future of the children is at stake, the couple can live together again. This is the method which the Ummah unanimously considers correct. This method is described in the Holy Qur'an and this is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught. The Hanafis call it Ahsan and according to the rest of the Imams it is the Sunnah method. Therefore, every Muslim should have this method in his knowledge and God willing, when it comes to divorce, this method should be adopted.

Thanks for reading my post.

Regard

@zaheer123