Animal Activities #81
Barnaby’s Steadfast Chill
Of all the denizens of the Amazon basin, Barnaby was the least bothered by what was happening around him. The other animals faced their respective daily crises - jaguar mothers tried to corral hyperactive cubs, harpy eagles debated wind currents on lofty perches. Barnaby, however, passed his days mostly submerged nose-deep in the lukewarm and decidedly murky waters of the river. His needs were quite basic: munch grass, soak, repeat.
The zen took a slight turn one hot and sticky Tuesday when an exceedingly energetic toucan, Pip by name, landed headfirst upon Barnaby’s head.
“Barnaby!
Trouble!”
Pip shrieked, his ridiculous yellow bill chattering at a high frequency.
“Snout-Tooth the Caiman won’t let me share the sunning log!
He said my feather-care routine is ‘ostentatious’!”
One at a time, slowly indeed, Barnaby flicked open the tremendous eyelids. With one hundred pounds of raw muscle and cordnage, he gave a slight shake on the brown face and offered not one word of objection to Pip's riding with him, nor to the place of the sunning logs nor in fact any objection. He serenely navigated towards the log's disputed surface.
Barnaby didn’t bat an eye. He heaved his considerable mass out of the water, shook his coarse hair with a bovine flourish and then, with the unflappable calm that seemed to emanate from his very being, lowered himself onto the muddy ground right next to the fearsome reptilian predator. And then, he carefully tilted to one side and, with a soft, weighty groan, rested his wet, heavy chin right upon Snout-Tooth’s sharp, toothy snout.
Snout-Tooth went stiff. His entire, ferocious being seemed to hit a cosmic pause button. You cannot intimidate a creature that apparently regards your deathly maw as just another piece of plush upholstery.
“Uh,” the mighty caiman said, his predatory eyeballs blinking with obvious consternation. “Barnaby, buddy, I’m trying to maintain an intimidating aura here.”
Barnaby emitted a low, guttural rumble, a happy “chuff-chuff-chuff.” Within minutes, the notorious caiman sighed deeply, flattened his heavy snout on the mud and closed his eyes. Pip, gaining courage with the swiftness of a falling avocado, cautiously fluttered down from Barnaby’s head and landed near the very end of the log, where he resumed tidying his feathers.
Barnaby closed his eyes as well and enjoyed the sunshine. The rest of the jungle continued on, raw, loud and chaotic, but for the brief moment under the tropical sun, Barnaby ensured that all was blissfully tranquil on the banks of the muddy river.
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