Your post brought up some past memories about "Baching".
In the late 80's, I was ordered to run the Medical Department on a USN 7th Fleet Destroyer based out of Yokosuka, Japan.
RE: The Overseas Assignment
I was offered two options:
A four year tour with my wife and kids or
A two year "unaccompanied" tour (without my family) as a "Geographical Bachellor" ("GB" for short).
After much discussion about the kids and my wife's job, we decided that I would go the GB route.
End Result?
In less than 8 months, she found another partner and asked for a divorce.
Me? A year later, before my tour of duty was up, I married a Japanese National.
She was my 3rd and last ex-wife.
Imagine that?
In lak'ech, Jaichai
Oh man... that's tough... I think that if I were in your shoes, I would have done the 4 years with my family there with me, rather than the 2 years alone there. But, I'm sure your had good reason to make the decision you did, and you believed it wouldn't be so detrimental to your marriage and family life as it turned out to be.
In Lak'ech.