I Am Scared Of Heights #club5050

I’m afraid of heights. Once, when I was very young, I climbed a tower to be the hero among my friends. The world looked a lot smaller from up there. I was not afraid that I would fall while coming down from such a height, but because my mother was standing in the crowd below. I knew she would punish me when I got down.

  
However, the people standing below were saying, "Don’t get down, son." The fire brigade will come and take you down. Just sit there. Don’t look down, just sit and nothing will happen".

I understood little at that young age. I started coming down. People kept shouting, "Wait, stop there!" But I didn’t look down. A few minutes later, I was on the ground. I was about to run away, but my mother caught me. As expected, she slapped me hard on my cheek. But the very next moment, my mother hugged me tightly and started crying.

I did not understand then why my mother cried or beat me when I reached down. At that age, children don’t understand such things, but today I understand why she cried or slapped me.

I am no more afraid of heights than I was that I would fall and die. I am just afraid that if I go to such a height, no one will cry for me even if I fall. Once, I fell in love with someone. I was so high in her love that I could not see the rest of the world. I used to ask her if I could climb higher. And she always said, "Yeah, go ahead." Every time before I got up, I’d ask, "I hope you won’t push me down?" She never said a word in response, but always smiled.

One day, I was so close to her that suddenly she shook her head in the negative, and that day I fell down from her shoulder. For the first time that day, I was afraid of falling. I wanted to see a tear, but there was no trace of tears or moisture in her eyes. Her face was calm. I was looking for any sign of sympathy in her eyes, but I could not find any. I thought I had really fallen that day.

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Actually, from that day, I started getting scared of heights. I think it was not her fault, but she too wanted to reach high in her life. She once told me she wanted to build the tallest building in the world. She was studying architecture, and she aspired to build a beautiful structure for our future.

Today, when I am sitting here on the highest hill at this hill station, I am thinking about my past. Maybe I’m not afraid of heights anymore but of love. The lovers who come to this hill either commit suicide or call their lover’s name and hear the echo of "I love you" from the hill in front.

I can’t do either of these things. I should probably get down this hill as soon as possible. Maybe my mother would be waiting for me down there. And I know that this time, instead of slapping me, my mother will hug me close to her chest. But my mother is no more in this world.

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