Winning Argument

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Romans 1:16-25
Ps 19:2-5
Luke 11:37-41

We know from experience that different things are important to different people. What is important to me is not necessarily important to someone else. We can get upset when something we think is important is not taken seriously by someone else who has a connection with us. In the gospel reading, Jesus is invited to a meal by a Pharisee. The Jewish ritual of washing in a certain way before meals was clearly a matter of importance to Jesus’ host, but it wasn’t an issue of any significance to Jesus. Other matters were more important to him. He tells his host that external ritual washings are far less important to him than the values and attitudes that we carry within us. Jesus looks for that inner disposition that finds expression in almsgiving, for example. This was a very important Jewish practice for Jesus, the willingness to give generously from our resources to those in need. The gospel reading reminds us that what we think important is not necessarily what the Lord considers important. What we value is not always what he values. We spend our lives trying to imbibe his values, his priorities, and allowing them to shape our hearts and minds. As Paul says, we are to put on the mind of Christ. We need to keep turning to the Scriptures, and to the gospels in particular, if our priorities are to be in keeping with the Lord’s priorities, if our mind and heart are to reflect something of his mind and heart.

In our Gospel passage today, we heard something similar regarding the conversation and interaction that the Lord had with a Pharisee who had invited Him to a meal. When that Pharisee wondered and asked why the Lord did not wash His hands before a meal, contextually what happened was that he was referring to the specific ritualistic washing that the Pharisees subscribed to in their very strict interpretation and enforcement of the Law of God.

Jesus passionately condemns any self-righteous focus on the "wrong-doings" of others, because it puffs up the self while preying on the self-esteem of those who get scolded. Self-esteem is essential for being able to love one's self, which is absolutely necessary for being able to love others unconditionally (rather than codependently).

When we get into arguments and insist that we are right and our opponents are wrong, we're in a battle of winners and losers. Do we really want the other person to be a loser? Analyze your motives: Do you really want to win the argument to make your opponent a loser -- so you can feel superior -- or for the sake of helping him or her?

When we think we need to feel superior, it's because we can't handle being wrong due to our own low self esteem.

We do care about others, and so we want to help them understand the truths that we're trying to explain. However, this helpfulness is never accomplished in the heat of battle. Both sides get too defensive to let in any new insights.

To end the argument and bring the discussion into God's victory, we need to separate our holy goal of being helpful from our selfish goal of defending ourselves. We need to hand over to Jesus the hurt that we're feeling to let him heal us rather than expecting others to make us feel better.

Later, when we're alone with Jesus, we can let him build up our self-esteem as we complain to him (and only to him) about our problems. But for now, we must lay down our lives for the sake of the other person.

Jesus doesn't want anyone to be a loser, He want us to keep winning. Even when they disagree with us and we're right, he wants them to feel lifted up into the victorious realm of love, where we are all winners in sight of Jesus.

Dear Lord, you were the first and only most balanced person who appeared and walked on earth. I want to share in your freedom, to experience the peace that comes from living fully in your love. But I need your help. I am just like the Pharisees: I want to control everything and have absolute clarity once and for all. Instead, you invite me to live in the dynamism of discipleship, following you day by day and gradually discovering more and more of your goodness and truth. That journey takes trust and faith. Increase my faith and my trust, Lord; free me from the narrow confines of my insecurities and arrogance. Jesus, I trust in You.

Lord, today by your grace I will make a point of reaching out to someone in need, “giving alms” as Jesus admonishes. The Lord be with you. May the Almighty God bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and guide you in your journey of faith in life, even to the smallest things. Have a wonderful day and nice celebrations. Stay blessed and remember to remain a wonderful blessing to others.