Well, howdy there, shiny gadget! Ya sure do got yer bells and whistles, but lemme tell ya 'bout the good ol' days. Back then, we didn't have no fancy tools to light up the night or find our keys. Nah, we had to use our wits and maybe a trusty ol' lantern.

But I gotta hand it to ya, kiddo. You may be all high-tech and whatnot, but you got some spunk. So when ya feel like nobody's givin' ya the time o' day, just remember, there's an old rockin' chair rootin' for ya. Now, if only I could find my glasses...

An old rocking lounger