Individuality In Relationship || What You Need To Know

bliss11 (64)in Motivation Story • 3 years ago

Lost in thought was Diane, a fresh college graduate who was contemplating on whether to accept Ben's proposal to be his girlfriend.

"Diane, hey...are you with me?", Ben asked touching her as she came back to her senses.

"Oh, yes....I mean, I am with you. What did you say?"

"I said we have been friends for a while now....and you know very well how I feel about you. I want you Diane, be my girlfriend", he repeated what he had said as he stared into her eyes.

"Well, I know....I like you too but...", she was staying as she faded in thought again.

"I like him too and would want a relationship with him. However, he has nothing going yet as he is from a very humble home. How long would I date him? Can I wait till he is ready?", flooded with different thoughts she decided to follow her heart and close her ears to the rest.

"Okay, I would be your girlfriend", she replied with a smile. With happiness Ben stood up and gave her a long hug, "thank you, I would make you so happy", he said.

Days turned into weeks and weeks in months, so did they grow together as a couple. They were so in love and had their lives planned out but things started getting difficult as they struggled to get settled financially. Diane supported her man all the way without hesitation, pushed him forward at any opportunity she had, cheered for him and practically put her life on hold just for him to get settled first. To her, if he is settled....then she would be fine too...."they are in this together", so she would always say to herself.

Then months turned to years and finally the heavens became open to their desires. Ben got his big break, he got a big investment for his startup company and things began to change for the better. In no time, Ben had begun to write his success story....his dreams were coming together bits by bits. On the other hand was Diane who was elated and proud at the same time...."I knew it, I am glad I stood by him", so she thought.

Following his success, Ben's company decided to host a dinner get-together inviting the investors, other companies personnel and a few other persons. On that beautiful night, as they dine and wine...Ben held Diane as he introduced her to his colleagues and the big investors of the company.

"Hey, hi Tom...", Ben said shaking hands with one of the investors.

"Ben!...lovely party you have here.
Looking to his side, "this must be your wife?", Ben asked..."oh yes, my lovely wife, Gracy. Did I tell you she is having a launch party for her art gallery this weekend?".

"Really, no you didn't...that's good to hear, nice meeting you Gracy", he said with a smile of admiration.

"The pleasure is all mine and I do hope you be there for the launch?", Gracy replied with a smile.

"Definetly!",he said and they all laughed. "Yes, this is my pretty girlfriend, Diane....my support system", he said looking so in love.

"You are such a lucky man Ben, she is really beautiful. Hi Diane", Tom and Gracy greeted her with a smile.

"So what do you do?", Gracy asked.

For a few minutes, she couldn't say anything as the question caught her off guard. "What do I do?", she thought to herself. "Well, I am trying....", she was saying before someone jumped in.

"Hey Ben", someone else has joined in the conversation and they started talking business.

There she stood, lost amidst it all. The question just kept repeating it self...."What do you do?" But she had no answers. For years she has supported her man not just by being there literarily but in every sense....financially, emotionally, physically. She was invested in his dreams, in building his dreams that she forgot to build hers along side. She thought if he made it, then she would be fine....so she took on jobs to push his career.

The feeling of inferiority suddenly overwhelmed her as the watched her husband laugh and talk with men of high status with noble careers.

"I am not enough for him anymore...He won't want to get married to me. What if someone asks what I do again...what would I say? What if he begins to have doubts...that I am not up to his standard anymore", there she stood with all manner of inferior thoughts.

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We forget sometimes that there is individuality in relationship. Yes, when you are in a relationship you ought to grow together as a couple in all ramifications....but more importantly, you both need to grow individually. Don't leave one for one, especially the one that has to do with YOU. Now, there is nothing wrong in supporting your partner, however never abandon your dreams to build someone else's. It may not be grand of a dream but it is yours....and yours alone.

The moment you build someone else's dream with the mindset that you are going to have a bite out of their cake, who would build yours? You forget that life can happen at any time. That's why when some young men and ladies get dumped after years of building their partners dream or career and they become successful. Then unfortunately, this "successful" partner calls of a breakup they become devastated, shattered and messed up. This reaction is not solely because of the breakup but due to how they have supported, cheered, invested and forgone their dreams just for you.

As you support your partner, build yourself along side. You are meant to grow individually in relationship and together....not just together. Be able to stand with your head tall with him or her, keep your confidence and keep up to each other's standard. People change, so make sure to level up.