Americans will never undestand football, or 'soccer' as they call it. The reasons are simple and crude- Americans enjoy statistics and the "YEEAAAAHHH" moment is sports. Just see what ehhhh, 'soccer' has to offer. It's not sexy. Goals, assists. If you're hardcore- golakeeper saves. And anything beyond that is stretching it. Dribbles? Who cares. Perecentage of passes? You have to be a nerd to enjoy that. Tackles won? 3 in a game is a rarety by one player. Passes completed? Eeeh, what?
There's no 'Passer of the year award" but there is one for a dude who smashes the life out of another dude in NFL, I think they call it 'sacks'? Hey, watch that guy- he threw the little brown, egg shaped thingy for 4 gazillion yards in 14 games- he must be good. Quarterback. Or something like that.

Baseball? You can read the post game stats and SEE the entire game.

NHL? I'm boren, Joe send out a toothless Canadian to stomp a mudlole in someones bum, that'll keep the fans awake. 'YEEEEAAAAH'

Americans create artificial 'sub-genres' for themselves to enjoy a sport, like the dunk contest. Hey George, I have a great idea- let's have the guy only dunk for an entire hour!
But wouldn't it be borring?
Naaah man, I'ma put a semi-truck in front of him when he's not looking.

They love that American moment of "Wooow, UUUUH, YEEEEAAAAAH".

Socceer can be borring as a potato sometimes but it's ours, and you can't have it!