American Civil War Letters - May 1, 1865 - A Real Selfish Desire for Sympathy
I have always longed for sympathy. I have been real selfish in my desire. Feeling myself alone with an own brother or sister, I turn to my husband with more intense longing, perhaps, that most... My husband and my children are my all, though I know I am not what I ought to be, and utterly fail of being what I want to be.
It's really starting to seem as though her husband may be home soon - though I'm sure this only made it harder to wait.
A fortnight can seem a very long time, especially if you have to spend it without pants on!
Springfield May 1st 1865
My dear husband
Sarah received a letter from you yesterday. You did not say how fast you were getting well, but mentioned cutting oysters and eggs. I am glad you can have nourishing food.
Mr Barney told us that the soldiers in the hospitals and those on furlough were to be discharged and sent home - those who were well enough. If it is so, you must make haste and come home.
Be careful about your food, so as to get well quick. A fortnight seems [a] long time for you not to have your pants on. It is longer than you have been confined to your bed before, since you and I have journey'd together.
Today being May Day, the schools have had a picnic. But it has not been a good day, being rainy.
Anna came home tired all out, she said. I am afraid she is not well. I hope a good night's rest will do her good.
Mary and Marion retired and gone to bed early. Marion stands it best of anyone.
We have a brood of chickens hatched this morning.
I hope you will soon be at home. I am beginning to look forward with certainty of soon seeing you. How nice it will be if you can come and make the garden and look after things, but the best of all I shall have you to talk to: someone to think and feel as I do.
I have always longed for sympathy. I have been real selfish in my desire. Feeling myself alone with an own brother or sister, I turn to my husband with more intense longing, perhaps, that most. More than some, I am sure.
My husband and my children are my all, though I know I am not what I ought to be, and utterly fail of being what I want to be.
May 2
I am full of work this morn so that I have not filled out my sheet, but we are all well, so that is all that would be worth writing.
I was in hopes I should get a letter this morn saying you would be at home this week, but did not get one.
Good bye. "May God bless you and soon bring you back to us," is the prayer of your wife
M S Grennell
This is a transcription of a letter that my great-great-great grandmother sent to her husband during his service in the American Civil War. It was written with minimal punctuation, so I have made regular edits for readability while keeping the content of the letter as close to the source as possible.
You can click on the original letters to see a high resolution scan for comparison.
I have dozens of letters from Marcia Spencer Grinnell to her husband Abel from this period, and will continue to share them as time and interest permit. The letters make for fascinating reading, and provide an intimate look into domestic life at the time of this conflict.
CLICK HERE to read more letters from Marcia Spencer Grinnell and her family during the civil war.
Or CLICK HERE for a complete catalog of my work on Steemit, so far.
At one time my husband was in the Navy Submariners. At that time there was no internet access, though I understand that they have (at least some) access now. Back then people from home were encouraged to write rather unexciting letters as all mail came through a radio and were posted on the board for everyone to see. If you got a 'Dear John' letter it was submarine-wide news but some men still got them. Wives/girlfriends were also encouraged to wait until their men got home to tell them any problems or to nag them about being gone for so long as it was bad for moral to know that someone back home was having problems and they (the men) were not in a position to do anything about it. I expect that (while it is good to be missed) Marcia's husband would be having some difficulty with these types of letters and I feel a little bad for him, especially as they are arriving while he's sick.
Wow - I can't imagine having to communicate knowing everything you send would be so widely heard.
Marcia has said in several of her letters that she doesn't like to complain or over-share (to use a modern phrase) their troubles, and only does so when Abel specifically asks for details.
Their situation is unique in some other ways, too. Abel was in his 50s when he volunteered. And while Marcia writes in several places that she agrees that volunteering was the right thing to do (she thinks it might help guarantee them a place together in heaven) I can't help but pick up a faint undercurrent of resentment over the fact that he essentially abandoned her with her five daughters on the farm for what could have been three years - or forever if he were killed. So I can't help wondering if at times she did want to convey how bad things could be at home.
For the most part, though, I just get the impression that she really loved him, and couldn't bear not to share as much of her life with him as possible, even through letters.
Understandable that Marcia would have trouble not putting everything all out there (since he asked)! I'm pretty sure I would have had some difficulty staying positive. We live off-the-grid. My husband works over the internet so he is home all the time except when he has to travel for work. The last couple years they have wanted to see a bit more of him in the office so he has been spending 3 months in Paris during the spring. I don't mind so much because we get very good satellite internet and I can talk to him anytime I want or need to but there are some instances when I bless the times that I can message and get real-time answers. This past year the power went out and it broke the computer connection to the satellite so I both had to get the power system running again then try to resolve the computer issue. Both are things that Doug would have handled completely on his own if he were home. It can be a bit scary playing around with stuff I don't know well and frustrating that he isn't home "doing his job".
I guess Marcia and her man must have been married for quite some time if one of her daughters is 18. During those times he probably didn't leave home much so she would have been used to him both being around a lot and doing all the heavy work.
You guys sound very hardy and capable! And going between working at home and working in Paris sounds like a pretty sweet gig - though I'm sure you'd prefer he not be in Paris so much. Those satellite phones sound like a drag but it's better than waiting for a handwritten letter to cross the Atlantic on a sailing ship, no?
Yes, I think they'd been married a long time when he enlisted. But Sarah wrote something in her letter of April 16, where she said she had "the deepest respect and love for the only Mother I ever knew or remember," which left me wondering if she was a child from a previous marriage. Maybe her own mother died in childbirth, or got diphtheria or any of the other thousand things that killed folks around this time. So far I haven't been able to find any records that confirm or deny this.
The youngest girls are definitely Marcia's, though, so they were married at least a decade.