Every time I'm eating meat and I see a rib it makes me think, "Shit. This motherfucker had a family." But I love steak and jerky too much to become a vegetarian. I just live with the guilt of being a mass murderer. Someone else can do the dirty work for me because I can't look an animal in the eye, kill it, and eat it.

If it came down to some apocalyptic famine scenario and it was either me or my dog, I'm gonna eat a bullet so my body can feed Molly for a week.