The Golden Age of Flirting
Everyone complains how difficult it is to get your feelings across to another person, these days. We have all these issues, such as misinterpretations of texts, likes vs. loves on Facebook, the eternal 'to follow or not to follow' dilemma over on Snapchat....
Personally, I never got all that. I get lost when my friends, describing their relationship with a crush use words like 'he followed me on Twitter, but he hasn't liked my most recent post, what does that mean? And he reacted to my profile pic, but has only 'seen' my Instagram pics without commenting or anything.'
Well, if you – like me – think that's complicated, just take a look at what flirting used to look like back in the Victorian Age!
Drawing her handkerchief across her lips - "Let's flirt with each other"
Twisting her handkerchief in her left hand: "Go away. I'm not interested in you."
Twisting her handkerchief in her right hand: "I am thinking of you."
Winding it around the third finger of her left hand: " I am married."
Winding it around her forefinger: "I am engaged to be married."
Drawing her handkerchief across her forehead; twirling her fan in her left hand: "Careful. We are being watched."
Holding her handkerchief in opposite corners in both hands: or opening her fan wide "Wait for me."
Holding a handkerchief, parasol or fan next to her right cheek: "Yes"
Holding a handkerchief, parasol or fan next to her left cheek: "No"
Twirling her handkerchief in her right hand: "I will meet you."
Twirling it in her left hand: "Let's set a time to meet"
Presenting her fan closed: "Do you love me?"
Drawing her handkerchief or fan across her eyes: "I am sorry."
Drawing her handkerchief across her cheek or fanning herself quickly while looking at
the "object of her affection": "I love you so much"
Folding her handkerchief carefully or running her fingers through the fan's ribs: "I wish to speak with you"
Twirling it in both hands: "I am not interested. Get lost."
Dropping it on the floor: "Let's meet"
Waving it over her left shoulder: "Farewell until we meet again."
Drawing the fan across her forehead: "You have changed."
Fanning herself swiftly with her left hand: "Don't you dare flirt with that woman!"
Resting her fan on her heart: "My love for you is breaking my heart."
Looking back, it seems incredible, like Ancient Sanskrit, but are our own flirting 'rituals' really that different? Won't people a hundred years from now just look back and marvel at our liking and following on all sorts of social media? Isn't it just as strange that we read so much into all that?
Aren't Facebook and Instagram our modern day handkerchiefs and fans?
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Doesn't it seem strange that every generation does so much to complicate what could be handled by simple conversation? But I suppose that in many ways complication is the very purpose of life.
I'm waving my fan at you, meaning 'but where would life be without irritating little things up for misinterpretation?' ;)
And I'm scratching my nose because I have an itchy nose. I hope no one reads something into it!
Oh wow, that is SO complicated! How did they ever remember all that?
The whole point of cultural practices such as that is to signal that one has the the time and leisure to learn such things, and is thus from a certain class.
Frankly, I don't know either. I guess they had way too much time on their hands..
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Maybe, that's if humans still exist. With the advent of Tinder and those sorts of "dating" apps chances are we're extinct through sexually transmitted diseases.