Kayaking 101

Last year, I decided to add another feather to my explorers cap and purchased a sit-on kayak with the intention of exploring my local river a bit more.

I chose the sit-on type as opposed to the spray-deck variety for obvious 'not wanting to drown upside down' reasons. They are much cheaper too.

It is reasonably small in length with two waterproof compartments, some bungee straps and a rig for attaching a fishing rod. All I needed for exploring the tranquil and meandering River Dee, on the English side of the border in Chester. There is a weir in the city which eliminates any tidal flow on the river making it ideal for an amateur paddle.

I decided to take her out for her maiden voyage on a quiet, sunny Sunday morning. I'd arrived at the small boating car park for first light and plopped the kayak in the water. There wasn't many people about which gave me the opportunity to get in without feeling the pressure of the whole of Chester watching me!

I shuffled myself away from the margins and paddled straight up the middle of the river watching the rich folk relaxing in their plush, pastel coloured boat-houses in the sun.

Once away from the city and as the river narrowed I took the opportunity with my growing confidence to explore underneath the low hanging trees that lined the banks, avoiding the ducklings as I went. Wrapped up in the excitement of my new mode of transport, I had failed to notice the armada of Chester rowing club boats tearing towards me from behind! Panicking and feeling a hedgehog crossing the track at Brands Hatch, I paddled my novice arse into the undergrowth to recover with a blueberry muffin.

After a well earned break from the madness and some 'if looks could kill' moments with the posh lot, I returned to the open water, continuing my course towards my half way mark where I would turn around and head back to the van.

Just before my arrival at the half way point I spotted the blue flash of a Kingfisher just ahead of me. The Father-in-law had challenged me to snap one of these a while back after I had told him I had spotted them on the river earlier in the year.

Realising my camera was in my dry bag I spun around quickly not wanting to miss the opportunity before my subject flew away, doing so I sent the kayak into a see-saw motion and it rocked wildly side to side. As hard as I tried to correct it, I knew I was coming out!

And out I came, straight into the drink. My initial thought was not of my own safety or my floating/sinking gear, it was only that of 'thank the lord that the masses from the rowing club had gone'!

I grabbed my paddle and placing two hands on the underside of my overturned craft, I kicked my way back into the sanctuary of the trees. Here it was shallow enough for me stand up in the mud, flip my kayak and roll back in. I'm not sure if Kingfishers have a sense of humour but I could sense this one looking at me with a wry grin.

Saturated and demoralised I decided to paddle back to the van having seen enough, when suddenly it dawned on my that my Ledger Nano was still around my neck! Could this day get any worse? Not only had I cocked up the maiden voyage of Titanic proportions I would now have to spend the entire afternoon sifting through private keys rescuing my fresh water infused crypto holdings.

The twenty minute journey home felt like an hour, pondering about private keys and Kingfishers. Eventually when I got home I plugged my Ledger into laptop and sat on the couch with a squelch. To my delight, the little belter fired up first time with no signs of damage! What a result.

Reflecting on the day, it's safe to say avoid the River Dee on race days, don't scrimp on the price of a sturdy kayak and if your hardware wallet happens to take a dip, all may not be lost!