I can relate to... well... everything in this post. You hit the nail on the head multiple times, and now I have a little shack to hide in. People are scary, responsibilities are scary. When did they start feeling that way? Who knows?
Very well written. I especially like the part about Alcatraz. We're prisoners, but we are almost comfortable in our prison. It's only when the wafts of delicious chocolate sweep through the bars that we feel uncomfortable, that we're missing out on something in our little dark prisons.
Thank you, @zombiedoll. The Ghirardelli phenomenon plays out in some form or another in each downswing. I'm able to get myself out of bad episodes more easily now that I know what contributed to my "diagnosis" so many years ago.