Facts About Farts & Why They Stink

91% of Americans think these things are, in some way, funny...

but...

... while some flatulence is normal and actually very healthy, some flatulence is in the category of very unhealthy and, in many cases - even deadly.

More and more professionals in the science and the medical industries are using your farts to diagnose, and ultimately cure fatal health conditions stemming from diseases and an excessive amount of bacteria building up in your intestines, which... if let to sit... often goes on to create new diseases.

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Women don't fart. (I'm just funning with ya).

The average human being, (male and female) farts 14 times per day.

Rich people don't fart. (Hahahaha!)

Seriously now ===> Rich people actually do fart less, because they tend to eat better foods and take better care of their bodies, which have less of a need to protect mitochondria within the cells of their guts.

In other words: hydrogen sulfide in your intestinal gases is meant to push out a normal amount of bacteria and disease-causing "shit-turned-to-gas' because it hasn't had time to turn to shit."

Farts are: the protectors of your inner workings!

You think you don't need them because they stink, but you do need them and this is why they stink.

Please allow me to continue....

If you are normally a 14x-per-day-farthead, but today you're feeling well-above average... I can assure you that it's usually a result of temporary-intolerance to something you ate and your body is going about the normal process of protecting you. You may want to stop eating whatever you ate because your body is working overtime to get it out of you long before it turns to shit.

If, on the other hand - you're having an above-average week, month or year and your flatulence is getting increasingly smelly and painful... I can assure you that it's not funny and you and your booty need to get to a doctor, fart in a test-tube and be glad that it's not your job to analyze it.

They will probably, and most likely, also ask for a sample of your shit, so you might want to take some of that with you.

Don't die chronic farter!

Irritable Bowel Syndrome is the result of wind passing through the bowels more slowly than normal people. This can, and often does, result in pain from increased muscle tension and the over-working of the muscles in your gut.

Some people have natural food intolerance and looser bowls caused by a lack of lactase, which results in being lactose intolerant. These people can be recognized by their unique ability to fart much longer than the average person who can use their tighter gut-muscles to force out, and cut off, their flatulence at-will.

Farts stink because they contain sulfer, which your body created to mix with the ground-up chicken nuggets in your stomach in-order to turn it into shit. Fact is: sulfur stinks. (That's a weak-ass answer - let me get back to this later in the post).

Sulfur stinks as nature's way of attracting wild animals to our dead bodies so they can eat and survive and continue the process of life. <===I'm not sure that's true, but it's my scientific guess. And - no, I'm not a scientist - I'm a pool player and poker player who lives off of microwaved tacos.... therefor I know a lot about farting. (I don't really know why sulfur stinks - I'm not a biologist! I use a stick to shoot balls into pockets).

Please let me stress this (all humor aside)..

Too much flatulence, not enough flatulence or no flatulence at all.... can be signs of very serious problems, including cancer.

Beware of blood or mucus in your stool, weight-loss, loss of energy, pain and intestinal blockage. If this is you - please go see a doctor. Steemit needs you and we accept your farts.

I told the people I'd tell them why farts stink and I have failed.

It's a dumb question. They stink because they're farts and farts stink!

PEACE!