RE: More stress? Say "No, thank you!"
Great post @unspeakableme!
Can't be talked about to much
Stress is certainly something that we talk to little about! I/We/People wants to show their best side and stand up and "be a good person" that can handle much and everything.
Do you see someone stress to much?
You have some great advice and tips on how to stress down, but I also think that something that everyone should ask themselfs are What can I do when I see someone stress to much?
It's a difficult think to know, but you can try to coach them into the same points highlighted in this post, but if you are able try to just ask them:
- How are you feeling?
- Do you need help with anything?
- Lets take a five minute brake in the sun outside.
Maybe you can't help them with their task, but you can help them come away from the stress they are in, maybe due to work, maybe because they are having family or personal problems around them. Make them feel important, listened on and it will help them lower their stress.
I always try to think:
What would I want them to do for me if I was in their position
Take care of each other!
Thank you for the input :) Yes, it's something we should learn. These days, people rarely inquire about how others are feeling. I think it's more of the fear of seeming too nosey or being rejected that people don't ask. Plus, with how hectic the lifestyle of many nowadays, it's harder to mind others. That's why it's important to have a good relationship with family, friends, etc. On a side note, people wanting to show a good side can be a product of conditioning. We are often surrounded by ideas of being the best and it's equated to acceptance and respect. So when one fails, they get stressed or depressed. @bsameep has an awesome post on learning helplessness. Do check it out if you find what I said of interest :)
It is off course a very tricky trail and as you say, with todays stress you might find it as overwhelming as anything else to be the one that supports everyone else to. That shouldn't be the case either; it will be that ones source for stress.
At the same time; we have so much going on around us and so many "needy" people that you should be wary to keep the ones that are on the positive "supportive" side of you and stay distant to the ones that are on your negative "needy" side of you.
I have been in that very position. I haven't "cut" people off, but I've put them aside because they don't add to my positive side at all. They take out more of you than they give back; and that's a reason to let them go, they aren't the people that you need around you.
I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced that. But I suppose, at some point, everyone is bound to meet the "negative" needy. I've learned the hard way and it had been a difficult process for me to minimize contact with those that drain me more than help me. Thank you very much for you insights!