Free Hugs

A while back, one of my daughters went out to participate in a project put on by a theater group. The group gathered downtown with signs in hand and a simple, some would say silly plan – they set up on the sidewalk near a park and where street traffic traveled through a 15 MPH zone. They were offering free hugs to all who passed by. She came home from the event bubbling over with enthusiasm. The stories she shared with our family about the response brought us smiles and were uplifting. Some passersby were suspicious, a few unresponsive, but many happily stopped to accept a hug from a stranger. People in cars honked in support and some even stopped their cars in the street to grab a quick hug. Most amazing to me, some of those hugs led to conversations and outpouring of emotion and gratitude – humans briefly connected in their disconnected world.

Another daughter of mine came home the other day with a story of a new patient she encountered, while doing clinical rotations in the ICU. He was recovering from a stroke. He was intubated. Lines and tubes were poking in and out of various places. He had been saved from death and was being sustained by a web of amazing, sophisticated medical technology. He was also awake and trying to communicate. My daughter and her instructor weren’t getting the message as he held out his arms and gestured. They got him something to write on. He slowly wrote out the message: I Want A Hug. Such a simple and incongruous request. The multiple, highly trained medical professionals were there to apply their knowledge and use the best tools and drugs and technology to help him recover his life. All he wanted was a hug, a human connection.

Modern America is overflowing with pain. Let me count the ways I see that: more and more adults have more and more chronic disease, children everywhere are developing Autism-Asperger’s-ADHD (things almost non-existent in the near past memory of my lifetime), suicide and drug overdose deaths are reported as daily rather than annual statistics, we’ve finally managed to push the decline of marriage down to where fewer than 50% last the promised lifetime. Human biology has not changed so how to explain such horrifying trends? Time to pull out the old Nature vs. Nurture argument. I see a glaring lack of nurture.

I will keep applying the best tools of my medical profession – but, I will also look to give as many free hugs as I possibly can.