A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum (I am a Martian...)
A funny thing happened on the way to the forum ...
I went to a lab to get a blood test...
I mentioned to the lab attendant that I am not a diabetic but I do
take insulin, every day, since 15 years ago... 30,000 doses of
insulin, so far...
This amazed the lab attendant, so he picked up the telephone
and called a doctor and he told him that there was somebody
in his office who says that he is NOT diabetic but he DOES
take insulin, and he has taken 5 or 6 doses of insulin every day
for about 15 years.
The doctor said, categorically, that I AM a diabetic because if I
have taken 5 or 6 doses of insulin for 15 years, now my pancreas
does not work, and so I am now DEPENDENT on insulin. So the
doctor dictated that I AM a diabetic.
I just love it when doctors challenge me to a duel.
So... I told the lab attendant to tell the doctor that I would come in
the next day without taking insulin, we would first check my blood
sugar, and then I would drink 400 ml of orange juice, and let's
see what happens.
So the next day, I came to the lab early in the morning, without having
taken any insulin... we tested my blood sugar, which was about 90 mg/dl.
Then I drank the 400 ml of orange juice, which contains about 50 grams
of carbohydrates... ("sugar") (about 12.5% carbs, according to the
We continued to test my blood glucose... it went UP ... 120... 130... 140....
to about 160... then... back down... 150... 130... 120 ... 110...
My Hb-A1c result from the day before was 5.0 (which in theory means my average
blood sugar the previous 2 or 3 months had been about 100 mg/dl, give or take
perhaps 10 points...)
The lab attendant called the doctor by telephone and reported the results...
patient says he did not inject insulin...
fasting blood sugar 90...
drank large glass of orange juice...
blood glucose went UP ... and blood glucose went DOWN...
The doctor then gave his conclusion:
The patient is definitely NOT a diabetic...
Therefore... the patient is either LYING (that he has taken insulin for 15 years...)
or the patient is A MARTIAN... !!!
The doctor does not believe in Martians, so the doctor is certain I am lying.
All that he has ever learned in med school or medical books
about insulin is that it is a VERY DANGEROUS hormone... and it will
CAUSE the pancreas to GET LAZY, and it will surely make the patient
INSULIN DEPENDENT... and it might CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE, and
INCREASE INSULIN RESISTANCE... !
Unfortunately for the doctor, I was not lying... so I am a Martian.
He does not believe in Martians, and I am a Martian !
I wrote this page, very similar to what I did above, when I had only
taken about 2000 doses of insulin.