Fear of not being in control

I just did a meditation. Actually the first one since I got back. Didn’t get around to doing one yesterday. Really needed that as my mind feels a million times calmer again.

I’m sorry - I see now how my fears of not being in control have been holding me back. With you I fear that I might lose you, but as a result I don’t give you all of me. My fear goes: “what if I get too attached and lose everything. Better to not put all of me into this.”

This also manifests in most other areas of my life too. But that I am becoming more and more aware of as I raise my consciousness higher and higher. For example with money - I might have it and then suddenly lose it. So subconsciously it is better to not have it all. The paradox same can be said for almost all things I desire: health, happiness, success, friends, etc etc.

But this is the only fear I suppose that involves another person. So that’s why it is something more, and I had to go deeper to see. I asked the universe to reveal all my fears to me and then so this incident happened between us.

During my mediation I envisioned the part of my brain me trying to get you to talk about uncertainty and other deeper things. This is me trying to unconsciously connect with you on a deeper basis. It’s what I’m craving right now, I deeper connection. I suppose my friends or family aren’t very deep so I need some of that in my day to day.

I know now that I can control this, and stay on top of my fears too, but I have to say I also think you have developed such fear too.

I can help you with these. Please do not be afraid to accept my help - I always offer it as a token of love.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7675/4-steps-to-let-go-of-past-fears-that-are-cursing-you-in-the-present.html