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RE: My greatest fears

in #health7 years ago

@gmuxx, It's amazing and a bit scary to think we can coast life having no idea the hardships others are going through. I was not aware of your battle with MS, the fact that you maintain such a motivating and upbeat (albeit sarcastic :D) personality here on steemit and over at MSP and the Fiction Workshop is a testament to your spirit and character.

I'm not going to say that I'm sorry to hear about your condition. I imagine you hear that enough as it is. What I will say is this:

All life is precious.

Thinking whether it was responsible to bring a child or any life into this world based upon the chances that something negative may happen in that life is a dangerous thought. It assumes that we are able to judge the real value of life for another creature. Something I don't believe we are equipped to handle. All life will hold value regardless of the valleys it may cross along the way. Including yours and your children.

Despite what you are going through, I'm sure you will agree that there is real value in your life right now. Would you give that up for anything? If your parents thought there may be a decent chance that you may develop MS, would you have wanted them to decide not to have you? I certainly hope not. The negative things in your life cannot completely overshadow the good things.

One more thing I would like to say is this. Worrying about the past and future often hinders one's ability to focus on the present. Of course we can do our best to plan for our future. But don't let it distract you from being the person you are supposed to be for yourself, your wife and your children. Pain (emotional and physical) is hard to live with everday. It kills a bit of our happiness every so often reminding us of better times before it's existence. Yet, in the times of pain, it becomes even more important to find the joy that family and life provide. Not only to create lasting memories for yourself and your family, but real joy is the best healing agent this world has to offer. Self-doubt and worry will have no part helping your body heal. Joy and peace at the beauty you have created will nourish body and soul. I think you know all this already. Yet sometimes it helps to be reminded a bit. Motivation and self-confidence are a cycle.

You say you are not a praying man, and yet I get the feeling that you are searching for meaning behind all of this. We all are, in our own ways. Prayer can be difficult. The concept of relinquishing control to an outside authority is frightening to some. Others find it pointless to pray to something they think allows all the hardship in this world in the first place. These and more are all valid concerns and questions. Concepts for another time perhaps. I will say this though, prayer has vast healing potential. Whether from a divine source or not, people focused in prayer have been proven to show increased healing capabilities. Simply having this conversation with you tells me that you are a man of faith. Except you may not feel you have found something worthy of such faith. It heartens me to see this. For when you do find something worthy, it means your faith will be rock-solid. Not like the fair-weather-believers you commonly see these days.

I don't think telling you what I think you should put your faith into will do any good at this point. Bible-thumping and the fear of fire and brimstone do not create true faith in any religion. Perhaps religion as a whole doesn't do the best job of describing what a true relationship with God is anyway.

If I had you take anything away from my ramblings here @gmuxx, it would be this: Don't let fear destroy your chance at creating beauty and joy on this earth. Even if you think the light of joy is so small that it will surely be swallowed by the darkness. Light is tricky sometimes and just may surprise you.

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Sarcastic? Moi? Never =D

I mostly coast through not worrying about things I cannot control, but as I lie there unable to sleep in the twilight hours, my mind does wander. I believe every parent worries about their children, have they done right by them etc.

I have never been religious but as my years have unfolded I have become somewhat spiritual.

I recognise and face my fears, but do not let them rule my life.

Thank you for your kind words.

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