Day 19

in #health7 years ago

Hi guys, Im back in the clinic after a short weekend say out. I have to say I feel safer and better in here for the moment. But my mind is unable to focus on anything positive most of the time. The lack of sleep, the million question I ask myself on a daily basis, missing the comforts of my home and the company of my family and pets is something that will take longer to overcome than I wanted to admit to myself. I am in no way ready to resume a normal life and begin working or at least that is how I feel now. I Hope to make the best of my last days here and get the most out of the therapy. For those of you that have gone through a terrible breakup Im sure you can understand what Im talking about. Emotional dependence and depression is a harder cookie to swallow than I would have imagined.

Hopefuly in a years time I can go back and read these open diaries and learn from this experience and ensure that I dont fall into this pit of despair again in my life. All I wish for is to regain my self esteem and to be a strong and loving figure for my children.

Im concerned about how I will be able perform at my job once I begin, Its a very dificult and stressfull job which I have always cherished for just that reason. But the fact is for the last 2 seasons I have been performing at a very high level and Im afraid that I wont be able to match that this year.

Thanks for reading and for all your support.

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These things take time. You can't be expected to perform at a high level all your life. Sometimes you need to take things easier for a while and be easy on yourself too! From what I've read in your blogs, you're going through a very rough time right now and you need time to heal. It's very admirable that you noticed you needed help and checked yourself in. I think that's the biggest step you could have taken and the rest will come with time!

I just heard of this today. We love this guy!

Honestly man, I'm not saying this for self promotion, but you should check out some of my posts I've done over the last two months. It gets better and the only one that can beat you is yourself. Hopefully something I said in one of those many posts of my own similar experiences will help you in some way. Good luck and stay strong.

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I missed all your posts as you know, getting caught up now, keep looking up man, I am just learning of this all now!

God bless you brother. I got you.

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