Establishing a Relationship with Your Inner Child

When I was 5, I had this pet chicken. We spent so much time together and I remember I would stare at her for hours just admiring her. She would even sleep next to me. Some mornings, she would surprise me with an egg. And I would take this egg, break it half, and get rid of the slime. Then I would swallow the yolk raw that was still warm from her butt.

Establishing a relationship with your inner child is the prerequisite of inner child healing. To do this, I constantly revisit pleasant childhood memories. I don't just remember it, but I let it play out in my mind as if I were actually reliving that memory in realtime. I become a child again and I allow myself to feel the feelings of that specific experience. In this case, I remembered how much I savored the egg yolk as it melted in my throat until "I tasted it."

Now what about the unpleasant memories? It's different for everyone, but your inner child must first trust you before you do any deep inner work with them, depending on how wounded he/she is. One way to establish this trust is to imagine your inner child in your mind. Talk to them with your wisdom as your adult self. If you were your own parents or caretaker, how would you speak to your younger self? Tell them that you are there for them completely and would never leave their side. Reassure them that you are listening to everything they have to say. Ask them what they would like to do and do it with them in your mind as if you were making up for lost time. Take your inner child by the hand and let your imagination run wild.

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