Anxiety disorder? Trust me I’ve been there...

Most women are susceptible to anxiety because women are emotional and irrational. We easily get exhausted when situation becomes complicated. We easily get terrorized when things go wrong and easily break down and cry when it feels like the end and hope is out of sight. Trust me I’ve been there. I was once healthy, lively, courageous and independent woman. I worked for my family years ago. I was full of life and very optimistic. Being tired never bothered me. All I think about those times was my family. I had to work for living because my husband had no stable job that time. I woke up early in the morning and came home late at night. Sometimes I do the laundry (handwashed) before going to bed. I slept very late. So what? It’s for my family anyway. Despite of all the hardships I was still happy and thankful. One day my husband got a stable job and forced me to quit working. And so I did. After I quitted I became sickly. I’d been a housewife for almost 5 years. For years of being a housewife I began to self-pity. I began to felt useless having a degree, wasted and stranded. My husband won’t allow me to work anymore. But stillI started to look for a job and luckily my ex workmate recommended me. I worked as an accounting in-charge. Being aroung with my workmates talking nonsense and laughing made my day more lively. I thought it would be for long or I would stayed my job for good. But who would have thought? I got sick and that’s when things shattered into pieces. My body shaked and trembled and I don’t know why. It kepr on tormenting me everyday it scared me and troubled me so much. One day I woke up found myself in deep fear of going to work. Yes. I suddenly felt horrible working. I started to get scared riding a jeepney alone. I can’t even go to mall because I might faint. I just can’t be alone anymore. I am going insane! I am in a horror. So my husband again forced me to quit working. I was diagnosed of having hormonal imbalance and nervous. At home I locked myself in the bedroom. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to talk to people or even friends, I don’t want to talk to anyone in the house. I just kept on crying. I can’t sleep I got insomnia, I don’t want to eat and I don’t want to take a bath. I was closer to depression. My mind was overwhelmed with negative thoughts. The thought of me leaving this world. The once resilient woman turned into languished. The battle seemed losing. Hope is distant. How did I overcove it! PRAYER AND FAMILY. My husband and son never left my side whenever they’re home. They kept on uplifting my mood by cheering me, they talked happy memories we had. We kept on visiting the church, visiting my hometown there with my parents and siblings. We always had family bonding. My husband take good care of me. I kept on talking to God. “Please God don’t let the evil gets within me. Don’t let the evil takes my mind, heart and soul. Amen.” That prayer played my mind always. We went to places where I found peace and tranquility. Slowly I forgotten my fears and conquered my demons. I suddenly came back to life! I took the strength from my family and I chose to live and laugh! Why not? My family loves me, cares for me and needs me. I may not be fully recovered yet, (but I know I get there soon). One thing I am sure of God never forsakes and family never leaves. I am too blessed to worry. Thank God