Dear Diary: The Nurse Today Made My Arterio-venous Fistula Access Bulge

I can still remember the first time my access had bulged was on the first time I used it after the nurse thought that my access is ripe enough to get pricked, then after cannulating I felt some tightness and then some excruciating pain. The blood is leaking under my skin already so they have to pull the needle back again and luckily my catheter wasn't taken off yet otherwise I would be referred to the city for my dialysis.

The one that made a botched job was actually the head nurse so my confidence to her now is very low. I know that this is just a part of the things that happen at dialysis but this is for me is just unacceptable since that nurse knows what she is doing. She didn't even apologize into what happened.

I really cannot confront her about it or I might suffer another one so I will just keep it to myself and maybe pray for her that she learn to be more skillful and also fair for all her patients because I am certain that she is not for me not because of this incident but for many things already in the course of years that she stayed in the dialysis center.

Now I have to wait for maybe two weeks or more until this pain in my access go away. There is a bit of blood there and I hope it won't cause another type of pain because I can already feel it when I move around my arm.