Dear Diary: The Big "If Only" In My Life

There are times that this thought comes into my head into what really happened in my life. It is because I was not expecting that I will be experiencing this kind of a living nightmare that happened to me and even in my nightmare at least I can run and have a normal body but now things have changed for the worst.

I am just fortunate that at least I have some online friends, particularly here at steemit that is supporting me in my journey into this seemingly permanent tumultuous and pitiful existence that I am so eagerly and religiously trying to save and I hope that I am not too late because I am sensing that I am the only one not losing hope anymore.

Being a dialysis patient isn't that bad, it only gets bad when you start to experience the outcome of the imbalances in your body. So it is the complications that will get you and not the dialysis process itself. In fact dialysis is good and it makes the person's blood clean.

So the big "If Only" I haven't suffered from my bone disorder I would have been doing fairly okay still by now. Before these things happened I was just like an ordinary skinny teenager, still normally good-looking LOL and I have maintained that until changes began in my appearance and pain developed.

So it is better if your relatives to really push with the plan in getting a transplant or really managing well the health of the dialysis patient through careful monitoring so that imbalances in the body would get checked , identified, and corrected or else they sure l would suffer the same fate as I have.

For me the past is past and I just have to think about the current problem and try to overcome it. I pray to God to help me with my endeavor to make things right in my body or to at least solve some of it and make them feasible for me to solve. I still worry about my future as it is like as muddy as a flood water but sill I am not losing hope and will fight to survive all this. I just needed much, much prayers.