We sing in my church and one of the lines says "I will not always reside here (This world) (because) my home is in the afterlife (heaven)" and of course I believe that because in our church they preach us that we are just wanderers here, we are born to do one thing and that is to fear God and do his will so that we can be holy because he is holy so that we could be with him in eternity.
That pretty much sums up what we have to do in this life and expect what we can achieve later on. So even though I am in a neck-deep in troubles, I still am expecting much good to come and that is after I died.
Dying is just sleeping for a Christian and to some it is frightful like for me as I know that I might doe most possibly in a very long lingering death like what happens in some dialysis patients.
I was thinking of stopping to go for my dialysis but Like what I have said it is a lingering death and I certainly do not want that. It is more better for me to continue to fight and see if I can get myself out from these ailments that plagued me right from my childhood up to now.
I sometimes forgot that I do have my goals in life to keep and that includes for my aging parents, I also have to put them into a better situation so that when it is my time to leave they are good and well and enjoying the rest of their lives free from their problematic son.
Part of my strength is the inner strength I am receiving from listening to the viewing sessions during Thursdays and Sundays, the schedule when the church worker goes in my home so that we can pray, sing hymns, and then watch the pre-recorded teachings of our Minister during the weekly thanksgiving, prayer meeting and worship service. It keeps the light of faith glow within me and makes me accept that this life is just temporary and I then feel the comfort it brings me.