Dear Diary: I Needed A Vacation But I Can't

So let's see, I was wondering when was my last vacation. The last vacation that I had attended to was not so great, it was done for us dialysis patients by our nurse and doctor from our church where I did go for a free dialysis session and it was ages ago.

We went on a beach owned by the church which is a resort and the proceeds are used for the church activities and charities.

But my experience wasn't so good, I was quite anemic in that moment with a little bit of water in my body but I can still move because my bones aren't yet collapsing in those years. So I didn't get to enjoy the food that I did bought which I thought was nice to eat.

There was this instance when I dipped into a pool the people other than my nurses and other patients gets out as if I they are "afraid" of me. I was thinking because of the bump on my arm which causes them to feel uncomfortable. And I tested it twice and twice the people in pool went out.

So as much as I do not want to think about it, that incident marked a thing in my head that I was abnormal and totally different from everyone else, like I am not from this world, a freak of nature that people just avoids.

I also used the kiddy pool slide and when I landed in the water my tail bone hit the shallow pool bottom and I thought I broke my tail bone at that moment, very excruciating pain. So that vacation experience of mine is really not nice adventure, caused me to have a bad memory of it than good ones.

Now I could not get a vacation and that is impossible due to my condition. If only not for my bone ailments I would have tried going up north in the mountains with my family. Maybe in the future but right now no slim chance of it could get a reality.