Dear Diary: I Am Lucky To Have My Parents Still Around

I feel like I am trapped in my teenage years but also at the same time felt that my body is four times older because of my bone issues and it is a bit funny that it was like that because of my parents who are still caring for me like I am their perpetual teenage son in a body of an old person while my whole life came into a pause and never marched forward it is just a peculiar way to live.

In a way I like it like that because I needed my parent's love and caring which would never be equaled by anyone and in fact I just want to die before them because it will be just a big void if one of them goes first before my time.

So I have a joy in my heart that my parent are still around not because they they are helping me but the mere fact that they are still here is just enough to make me happy. But it would be better if I had the family of my own but my fate didn't allowed me so it is just one of those things that frustrated me in my life.

It sucks to live this way though because it is not normal and it is hard as well as there is a level of uncertainties that hunts me night and day which makes me worry but I cannot do anything about it. I am just doing what I can to make things better for myself and my parents because my life now revolves around here in my house and that I have to accept.