Giving Up Perfection

When did good enough stop being good enough, and perfection the new norm? More specifically when did perfection take over my life, infiltrating every aspect until nothing was no longer good enough, and the internal struggle of comparison, self-doubt and dissatisfaction became my reality?

Today it seems we are surrounded with persuasive images via media and advertisements that time and time again reinforce the message that we are not good enough. For the most part we aren’t even aware of their motivates, and if we are, either choose to turn a blind eye, or get swept up in the consumerist culture, driven by our need to fit in and be liked, that we buy in
to the lie; we are not good enough as we are? Like blind sheep, and naive children we follow along zombies from birth to death never really stopping to question. The life we are striving for are lived by some of the most unhappy and distorted people. Money doesn’t buy you happiness, rather it buys you things and stuff that lead to the contrary. We are trying to buying are own happiness, and every time we indulge in one more thing, we are leaving less time, space and energy to put into what truly makes us happy. People, connection, love things that cost nothing, and stuff that does not remind us daily, of our short comings but rather accepts us and love us despite of them.

Perfection isn’t just an aesthetic anymore, it is no longer confined to how we look, what we wear and what we own, it has become a lifestyle, an expectation, a means by which people can judge us by, a marker of whether we are succeeding in life or failing. It is a sickness, a disease. It is contagious and destructive. We buy into this lie, because at some point along the way we forgot to think for ourselves. We are human, and by design are attracted to the ease of whatever it is we are doing. We rather to go with a stream of dead fish downhill to our demise and unhappiness then risk standing out and taking the steps necessary to create true happiness in our lives, or at the very least to not cause harm to others by ways or neglectfulness. And for those of us that get the courage to live a life less travelled, stand up to the norms of society and try something different, are mocked, isolated and belittle, even when done with good intentions.

Perfection is ruining us as a people, as individuals and as a society. It is creating black holes in the hearts of mothers, who are left sad and crying in the corner, scared by fear to really parent her child and allow for them to have a childhood. It is making ugly what was once beautiful, girls dying to achieve it, boys numbing themselves to achieve success. We are stepping over one another, bringing each other down. We are not opening up to one another, because anything beyond the surface reveals faults in our lives and in our thoughts that are far from perfect and hence condemned. The irony to be found is that no one is perfect, no one has the perfect life, perfect relationship, perfect amount of money and stuff and things, yet everyone is deceived, in denial or delusional as we all believe that everyone else IS perfect. So we hop on the rat wheel and go round and round and round, exhausting ourselves, depleting our strength until we stumble. In faltering we are gifted the chance to see clearly if only for a second, the insanity that we put ourselves through, all for an unattainable reality. We can choose whether we continue on our path of self-destruction and misery, or we can ‘hope’ off, and choose to have courage in a scared world, and make efforts to be kind to ourselves and others in a cruel and uncaring culture. To find the good enough, and leave the perfect!