Misinterpretations - Healing Through Humour Cpasule 18

The source, the cause, the trigger, of the emotional flashback.

In fact, emotional flashbacks are what cause the misinterpretation. Someone says something and it triggers it. They mean one thing, but I interpret it as another because of the abuse I lived.

The Capsule depicts something that is typical in me and happens still quite often, but to a lesser degree. But to explain it, I have to explain the source, i.e.: the abuse.

• Abuser does something to hurt me.
• I react because I am hurt.
• Abuser delegates blame onto me, making out he is in the right and I am wrong to be upset and as such, I deserve punishment.
• Abuser reinforces that blame is on me and therefore cannot be on someone else, if blame is not on someone else, therefore blame is on me.

Now let's look at what happens with an emotional flashback:

• Husband says something that triggers something.
• I react because I feel wronged.
• I feel guilty for feeling that way.
• I feel fear that I will be punished now, so I MUST cast blame onto someone else, so that blame is not on me.

This is what goes on in the subconscious mind:

• I cannot fathom that blame can be on no one.
• I cannot fathom that I am not to blame even if someone else is not to blame.
• If the fault is not mine, then it's someone else's.
• If the fault is not someone else's, then it's mine and if it's mine, then I need to be punished.

What do I know today that I use to help me through these moments? That others remind me of when I forget?

• It's okay to feel the way I do.
• It's normal for me to react today the way I should have been allowed to back then.
• Right here and right now, I'm okay.
• It's not my fault.
• It's also not anyone else's fault.
• It's no one's fault, which does not mean it's mine.
• It not being someone else's fault doesn't automatically mean it's mine.
• Even if something is my fault, I do not need to be punished.
• I never need to be punished.

Healing Through Humour Capsule 18 depicts a scenario of how something like this usually goes down, in a lighter tone than it usually does go down.

Feel free to share your experience with triggers and misinterpretations, and what you've discovered goes on in your subconscious mind.