Red Pill Wednesday: Different Ways of Communicating - Verbal Vs Non-Verbal Communication (Little Vs Lots of Talking)
I hope this is an eye-opener: Red Pill.
I feel irked when I hear people talking about Marcus Mariota (who is the quarterback for the Tennessee Titans and Heisman winner, a native son we in Hawaii are maga proud of) as being quiet in a way that implies that there is something wrong with that. I feel more than irked when I hear an outsider new to the islands in a teaching position who denigrates students for being "quiet" instead of loud and talkative (like the outsider is).
It's a form of cultural language usage elitism. A way to put down the peoples of Hawaii and their culture by someone who automatically assumes or only knows of one way to be, theirs. They are oblivious to understanding that silence in a classroom is a form of giving respect to the teacher and that "talking back" is one of the highest form of insult you can give an instructor.
Many in Hawaii are "high-context" communicators who value non-verbal communication, as opposed to "low-context" communicators who rely on explicit verbal messages.
I found an article on the internet that explains it perfectly. I've reproduced the relevant portion of it below, along with citations and links to the full essay.
So next time you want to criticize someone like an outstanding Marcus Mariota for not talking, think about maybe they want to criticize you for talking too much, and remember the proverb, "Empty cans clatter the loudest."
Proverbs Reveal Culture Diversity
by HOU Rong
Shanxi Normal University, China.
Corresponding author
Received 8 February 2013; accepted 16 April 2013
2.2 Non-Verbal Communication Reflects Culture
Diversity
——From the perspective of high-context and low-
context
Silence is also speech
——An African proverb
In human intercourse the tragedy begins not when there
is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not
understood.
——Henry David Thoreau
The proverb and sentence mentioned above bring out
the subject of silence. Actually silence is a part of
nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication
is communication that conveys meaning without words.
“It is a subtle and mostly spontaneous and unconscious
process in which we are not aware of.”(Andersen,
1986).Researchers has estimated that 85 percent of all
communication is nonverbal, with the importance of this
type of communication varying widely across cultures.
In fact, research indicates that we will believe nonverbal
message instead of verbal ones when the two contradict
each other. So nonverbal communication is important.
First, we use the actions of others to learn about their
affective or emotional states. Second, it is usually
responsible for first impressions and those initial messages
usually influence the perception of everything else that
follows. Many scholars believe that nonverbal signals are
part of a universally recognized and understood code.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
——U.S proverb
Still water runs deep.
——Japan proverb
Empty cans clatter the loudest
——Indonesian proverb
The U.S proverb implies that the person who stands
out and is the most vocal will be rewarded. Because
Americans usually hold that expressing one’s opinion
as openly and forcefully as possible is an admirable
trait. While the Japan proverb conceals that the Japanese
believe that a person who is quiet and spends more time
listening than speaking is more credible because they
regard constant talking as a sign of shallowness.
Sometimes silence—seeming the opposite of
communication—sends a powerful message. The
differences in the use of silence can best be examined by
looking at high-context and low-context cultures. Low-
context cultures place less attention on the context of a
communication (such as implied meaning or nonverbal
messages), they rely on explicit verbal messages. In low-
context cultures, the verbal message contains most of the
information; they expect messages to be detailed, clear-
cut, and definite. On the contrary, high-context cultures
emphasize the context in which a communication takes
place; they pay a great deal of attention to implicit,
nonverbal messages. In high-context cultures, meaning
is not necessarily contained in words, information is
provided through gestures, the use of space, and even
silence, therefore, low-context cultures view silence
as communication gone wrong. To them it indicates a
rupture has occurred in the communication process.
Silence is ambiguous, it must be interpreted, and the
interpretation of silence is more difficult than the
interpretation of words. So silence does not fit with the
low-context culture which emphasizes precision and
clarity. And people in high-context cultures perceive low-
context people, who rely primarily on verbal messages,
as less credible. They believe that silence often sends a
better message than words.
Asia, Arab and Mediterranean cultures belong to
high-context culture while American, German, Swiss
and Scandinavian cultures belong to the category of low-
context culture. From this aspect, silence has two layers
of meanings. First, silence is negative and indicates
confusion: because Euro-Americans and northern
Europeans expect a certain rhythm and cadence of
statement and response, they may interpret silence as
confusion about the statement, as a negative response
to the proposed idea, or even as anger at the speaker or
the proposal. Second, silence is positive and indicates
respect. People from Asian cultures use silence to indicate
respect for the other speaker, consideration for the idea
the speaker has presented, and time to weigh the pros and
cons of the statement and form a thoughtful response.
In this way, it is clearly that America is a culture of
low-context while Japan is a high-context culture. Back
to the proverbs mentioned above, it will be more easily
to understand the differences they reveal. The Japanese
believe that silence is preferable to conversation. It is
through silence that one can discover the truth inside
oneself. Contemplation and meditation take place in
silence. There is a view in Japanese culture that words
contaminate understanding. Reading another person’s
inner core, a kind of communication without words,
can take place only in silence. Most of the discussion
in Japanese negotiations is in groups, and much is said
through silence, facial expressions, and body gestures
among the Japanese team. A study by Japanese scholars
shows that silence is a key to success for Japanese men,
and over 60 percent of Japanese businesswomen said
that they prefer to marry silent men. So while Westerners
typically view silence as a gap in conversation, the
Japanese believe that silence is part of conversation.
—
Nothing done with intelligence is done without
speech.
This Greek saying emphasizes the importance of
talk as a means of conversation.
—
A man’s tongue is his sword.
With this saying, Arabs
are taught to value words and use them in a powerful and
forceful manner.
Full article can be accessed here:
and is available here:
HOU Rong (2013). Proverbs Reveal Culture Diversity.
Cross-
Cultural Communication, 9
(2),
31-35
. Available from:
http://www.
cscanada.net/index.php/ccc/article/view/j.ccc.1923670020130902.1346
DOI: http//dx.doi.org/10.3698/j.ccc.1923670020130902.1346
Thank you for that perspective. I have always viewed my tendency towards silence as strictly a personality trait issue. I fully agree with the "constant talking as a sign of shallowness" angle. I have found that to be true more often than not. Thx HP.
You're welcome. It was such a relief to have read the article. After a lifetime of indoctrination that being quiet was somehow a negative trait, something openly and freely criticized by the dominant in American culture low-context communicators, and having to watch great people like Marcus Mariota being criticized and dissed in national media for being quiet, reading the essay was cathartic. I just hope it opens other people's eyes.