Redacted Journal - July 15-21, 2019

July 15th, I woke up at 1 am, my heart pounding. The night before I had felt exhausted from the lack of sleep, and had a bit of a headache, and went to bed around 10 pm. I heard someone stirring in the room above me at 1:30 am and some a while later. I probably didn't fall asleep until around 4 am, and woke up at 5:40 am. ... Once I arrived, Dorian gave me Hazel to work with, and had us assembling lights. She said she had to do this service or go back to jail, and I said I hoped it wouldn't be too bad. She asked a lot of personal questions, how old am I, do I have a boyfriend, where do I live, why did I come to Canada. She seemed quite curious. ...First when I asked her what her job was, she didn't answer, but then she explained to me that she has the certificates to do makeup, which is what she likes, but now she makes a lot more money giving massages. She told me she has had 1000 clients? ... She said it's not bad, and all men are cheaters. She asked me when was the last time I had a boyfriend, and I said I hadn't. She asked me if I had ever done the jiggy. [She walked away for a moment, saying she was going to check the time in a deliberate sort of tone, then holds her phone with the camera facing me for a second. She had also told me how lucky I was to have a young looking face. -3/24/21] She said women are empowered because of the bodies we have. She said something inappropriate about black men, and I said I don't want to hear about it. She nervously told me her husband wasn't black... Before Hazel left, two men gave me googly eyes. [After this I was flirted with by a series of black men: Joel, Damon, Jase, Rudy, Sunny and Ramon at least.]
I said it took me a long time to do the assembly. Hazel got called away and I was asked to do some wiring, which I wasn't sure about. Dorian handed me the parts and verbally explained which wire connects to which. Then an electrician came to work with me. I let him check my wiring and he showed me a trick. He specifically suggested I do the wiring while he hung the lights. He was having trouble hanging up the light, and I came up with a solution. Hazel brought me the stick gun twice, and I didn't know how to fix it at first, but the second time, I figured out it stopped because the roll was empty. ... Hazel kept coming by asking me if I was still doing that. Finally I got pulled away and told to frost some windows. [What I did not know was they were renting the building. I still don't know if they had permission. -3/24/21] Drake came to help me do the "hard" things. Hazel thought this would be a long task but I came up with drop cloths to speed things up. ...

When I got to the bus station, I saw that the bus was leaving in one minute, so I ran over there and stood behind 37 other people. Another man stood behind me, but walked away as soon as the scheduled time came. The bus never showed up for that time slot, even as 2 of the same number buses sat in the parking lot. A woman came and explained it wasn't coming. When I got back, the hook on the microwave was broken again, and it wouldn't run. When I saw Easton, I told him about it. He just said Claire would get another one, no problem.

July 16th, ... I went to bed at 9 pm. At around 3:30 am I woke up from the sound of something hitting metal on my ceiling. It would go 1 2 3... 1 2... 1 2... 1... 1, it got quieter after about 10 minutes. I got the audio recorder on my phone for a few minutes. When I turned off my fan by my bed, the noises stopped completely. I heard someone stirring about upstairs a bit after that. I got a few more hours of sleep and headed out. ... Dorian came and said to finish what I was doing and then do more installations. Drake came to help me get boxes for the curtains. I asked him if he had worked for the charity store for a while, and he said he had 50 hours of community service to do because of tickets. "Oh" my voice went down. Drake seemed hurt and walked away. I went to ask Dorian something, and he seemed a little over me, not enthused like before. Drake had asked me for a pen. I told him the one I had was mine, and he didn't take it. I went to tell Ruby when I could come volunteer. Drake was there and he said I had the face of an angel. "Tres gentile." I responded. (Very kind.) Ruby repeated that like she was surprised. I told Ruby my availability. She said "I love love love your French, but could you please write it down?" So I did. Afterwards, I found two identical pens in my pocket. After telling Ruby I had 2 identical pens of different brands in my pocket, I brought them to Drake who took one and said "So you're not an angel." Drake was cool with me after that. I went back to installing lights, and did it much faster. But when I was reading the instructions on one, and it said in some states a certified electrician has to install it, I looked it up, and Quebec was very strict. I brought Dorian over, and said if anything is even slightly illegal, that I love the opportunity, but I'm new to this country and trying very hard to obey the law. He told me the code says you have to call the electrician to change a light bulb, but nobody does that. I repeated my request. He said, "You don't want to finish this, okay." And sent me to unpack some pallets. He didn't act or show anger. Danny the electrician from yesterday had told me to do the wiring while he hooked the lights to the rack. [He also told another guy I knew what I was doing, like he was impressed. -3/24/21] As I went on to sort, two guys came up one after the other, asking me questions in French I couldn't understand. ...I worked with a boy who speaks English for a while, putting boxes high on the shelf. He said he thinks he may have hurt his back. Later Ruby asked me how to install the lights. I brought the monkey wrench over since that is the only way I could get the square top screws out and explained some of the process and asked if they didn't have an electrician. She brought Dorian over and I went to help Drake. He tried to converse about music but I didn't understand. Ruby brought Drake over to help with the light installation. A man asked me where there was water like a faucet. I told him about the bathrooms, then I asked Ruby just to be sure if it was safe. I told her I drink tap water and she looked at me with obvious disgust, and told me we had water bottles. I asked her if the tap water in Montreal was okay to drink, and she said it was. [It was like my weakness of not knowing French was brought up, the boy helping me acted like that went badly for him, and my supervisor acted like I was disgusting. It seemed this was a reaction to me saying I wouldn't break the law. -3/24/21] ...
Back home, Lucas asked me "If it's not too personal, what did you study?" I told him American Sign Language and a little Engineering. He asked me if anyone in my family was deaf. I said no. He told me about LSQ. I said it was similar and fingerspelling is the same, so if I know French I can communicate. He asked me if I got that from Langley. I said there is a city in Virginia called Langley and there is an organization that works there. (Central Intelligence Agency) He said they do a lot of things with languages there, and asked if I was a part of that. I said No. He also asked me if I broke the microwave. I said I told him I did when it happened. He asked me if I broke it a second time. I said no. He said it was a conspiracy; someone was messing with our minds. As I went back to my room, Lucas watched me and the other boy walk away excitedly. In my room I heard Easton talking to someone about the room next to me, like he was showing it to someone.
Audio file: Record_20190716031115 ... knock at 1:43

July 17th, This morning around 3 or 3:30 am I heard a beeping, like an alarm going off. It went on a couple times, and when I went to record it, it stopped. As I would drift to sleep, it would give a few more beeps. I couldn't record it in time. Finally I got a little, stuffed toilet paper in my ears and went back to sleep. In the morning I emailed Madeline who works at the charity store’s headquarters asking her if they still wanted me at the charity store since I got an invitation for their other location for the same time slot. She said I was. I called the IRCC, and got connected without too much difficulty. The woman was helpful. Apparently my previous attempt to change my address on line had failed. So we did that. I found out the study permit problem was no big deal, and that my work permit had been mailed on the fifth to the refugee center. I called them and they said they changed their policy and don't keep them anymore. I heard a loud beeping and closed my window, but it continued. I figured it was a fire alarm, so I went out. Lucas was there and said it wasn't a big deal, but he said we could go outside while he explained it to me. He showed me where it said the system is normal and I took a picture. He said I was paranoid like him, showed me his phone of the thing I just took a picture of. He said he got it off my phone. I asked him how, but he said he had taken a picture of it before. We went outside and Claire was there. I introduced myself. [I was wearing oversized pants and a t-shirt. Not my normal clothes. -3/24/21] She was very nice. ... I went to pick up my mail and my passport arrived. I went to Guy-Favreau and made photocopies of my passport like I had read in the law. The cop was nice, but didn't know about the requirement to hand in copies. The woman in room 102 for the IRB acted confused, but said she could take a copy. I went to put it in my safety deposit box. When I brought the box back, I waited for the girl to put the key in again, she told me it was still open and forced a laugh at my mistake. I went to the refugee center, and I saw the guard I first met who told me they keep work permits the first time I met him. He said the policy changed and they mailed it back to immigration two days ago, and they should just mail it to my new address. I bought some food and came home. On the way to the grocery store I asked someone if it was legal to cross the street and when I could. On my way back there was a cop car at the intersection with the white lines. I assumed I had the right of way and kept walking. An older woman was in the swing outside. I met Joel again, who said I was gorgeous. I washed my dishes, grabbing my backpack and keeping it with me. Lucas popped in to ask if I spoke to his mother who was outside, then left. I went back to my room and Easton opened up the room next door and threw stuff, and it sounded like he was talking to someone else. [It seemed as though he was trying to convince me that no one was in that room. He would do something like this when my suspicions seemed aroused. I did hear several indications that someone was living there for a while, but very quietly. -3/16/20] There is no surveillance from the building for the space between rooms 214 and 215.

July 19th, ... Also yesterday I started taking a nap around 7:30 pm and someone started mowing the lawn right under my window. I fell asleep for a little while, but felt pretty shaky when I woke up, locked and shut things down, and went to bed. Today I went to the charity store again. Dorian welcomed me. He spend a few minutes in front of Ruby asking me where I was from, how long I have been here, if I was alone. He said I worked efficiently, and it was amazing how good my French was considering, and that he was impressed. Ruby had me move some bags on the shelf, then install some shelves in the cashier's counter. Madeline came in and asked how I was. She seemed a bit concerned since I sent that email asking if they didn't want me at the store. "What are you working on?" She asked in a wary tone. She approved of the shelves, but later I found a shelf had been screwed into from a hose clamp around a wire conduit. Dorian didn't stop to speak with me. He seemed to be speaking to someone important. I showed Ruby and Madeline, and Madeline said we have to leave it alone since it was with wires. ... Dorian said he was heading out, and asked me when I would be there next week. Just Monday and Wednesday...

July 20th, Yesterday when I got back, Joel was in the main salle, followed me a bit, and started asking me many questions. He was leaning back, his expression was excited and devious. He asked me what language I spoke, where I was from, whether I would go back to America, whether I was all alone, if I had any friends at all here. I hesitated to answer, but he got extremely excited at the thought that I was all alone. I told him I wasn't looking to date. He asked me if I was shy. "Yes." "Why?" "I was born that way." "Are you scared of people?" "No." He asked me if he was making me uncomfortable. I said he was asking me a lot of questions, and I would like to know why. I said it seemed that he was interested in me and perhaps wanted to date me. He said he wasn't, and was being "really sincere," while calling me gorgeous again. I said good day, and he said sorry as I was walking away. I told him no problem. I went to the kitchen to make popcorn, and a man walked in, asked me if I lived there, shook my hand and said he was Wyatt. He is a handyman, and offered to let me use tools if I needed them. He asked me a few questions about where I was from, but I was preoccupied with the popcorn and he backed off and talked about how hot it was. It didn't seem that bad to me. I said I had been in Tennessee. … While doing laundry I had to take Damon's laundry out. He came back for his dry laundry. He asked if I talked a lot. I said no. He asked if I had my parents here or any friends. I responded that my parents were in America. He made a "wow" face. This is the same question that interested Joel yesterday and annoyed me. My mom messaged me on Facebook asking if I'd gotten the package yet. I told her yes and thank you.

July 21st, I woke up around 6 am. It was still warm so I opened my window and screen and moved the fan in place. I saw a giant black fly, like a horsefly about an hour and a half later in the room. I moved things away from it and tried putting the fan on it. It flew up and I backed away. It left out the window. [I think that was the first time I opened the window without the screen. -4/14/21] I went to church at Bible Fellowship Church. ...