Chasing Illusions: Putting Material THINGS into the Hollow Space You Feel Inside Probably Won't Fill it!
So, earlier today I was following some of the usual trails I follow around ye olde web, which also means I occasionally fall into a rabbit hole or two.
And there's the usual contingent of people having their bellyache sessions about the things they feel are missing from their lives, and how they feel they will finally be happy "when they have XYZ in their lives." The common thread is that they all have that "empty space inside" they are trying to get rid of. Or fill.
I remember that space, from my youth. From my 20's.
Meanwhile, there's some dude's infomercial, plugging some kind of "success seminar" and he's blabbing on about his Lamborghini and his 18-bedroom waterfront house, and I find myself just shaking my head once again.
Things # Happiness
The simple beauty of fall leaves
I guess we all have our unique ways of defining "success" and the "good life," and I can certainly respect that... but why the hell do we think having a giant pile of spendy toys is somehow going to make us happy, if we're not actually happy with our lives to begin with?
Now before you go all stone age on me, allow me to kick in the footnote that I actually spent a good bit of my childhood and teenage years living among the ridiculously wealthy, so I'm not "guessing" here, nor am I having a case of "sour grapes." I'm actually speaking from first hand observation.
Having a bunch of expensive and swank things doesn't make you happy.
Well, let me rephrase that accurately: They don't bring you long term contentment. Once the novelty of your new Mercedes wears off, you'll be right back to chasing "something" to fill the empty space inside.
Why?
Because the fancy house and the spendy adult toys won't make that empty space you have in your soul magically go away. In fact, their presence will probably make it BIGGER because you'll think you've gained something, but instead you'll also feel the disappointment that now you evidently have "everything" but you're still not happy.
But She Seemed so HAPPY!
The thing is, there were just as many suidides, and just as many (if not more) cases of addictions and depression among the super rich as among any other group I've ever met.
The simple beauty of fall leaves
I remember this perfectly nice lady who lived down the street from us-- who seemed to have a perfect life with anything you could want or need. One day-- out of the blue-- she took one of her husband's shotguns and scattered her brains in little pieces all over their bedroom.
"But WHY? She had everything!"
Indeed, she did. But she still wasn't happy.
Of course, when we don't have those things, we tend to not believe that they won't bring us happiness, and instead we keep chasing after illusions.
What the genuinely happy people-- rich and poor alike-- had in common were friends, loving families, good health and engaging interests. Not Lambos and 200-foot yachts. And above all? They practiced gratitude for the good things they had, little or large, rather than focusing all their energy on what seemed to be "missing" from their lives.
I'm reminded of the bumper sticker I occasionally see on a very old Subaru, as I walk to work in the morning: "The Best Things In Life Aren't THINGS." Remarkably true.
Stop and be grateful for what's already here!
Just something to think about, as we open up a brand new week!
How about YOU? Do you have an "empty space" inside you are trying to fill? What do you think needs to go there? Do you think material things REALLY make people happy? Or are they just temporary distractions? What are your ambitions? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
created by @zord189
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180115 01:25 PST
Love your glorious sun-kissed autumn coloured leaves @denmarkguy You have given us plenty of food for thought in your post and have come to many of the same conclusions as I have in regards to man's constant search for happiness. I worked for an ultra rich couple, a few years ago who owned multiple houses, businesses, planes, boats, hotels etc........but in their quest to amass even more wealth they lost each other. There is much I could elaborate on here but what I found incredible is the lady of the house (not a home) told me one day that she constantly worried about loosing all her wealth. How tragically sad is that?
Very sad indeed, @trudeehunter. In the end, stuff is just "stuff." For many, the very process of acquisition serves as a distraction to keep them from thinking about what is actually missing from their lives. Instead, the quest to get a Rolex watch tries to fill the space that's actually filled by the desire to sit by a campfire with a friend and share stories. Unfortunately, we live in a society that tries to sell us on the idea that having "things" will make us happy.
Sad facts indeed, @denmarkguy Striving for wealth is a killer. We often hear the saying, "Enough is Enough!" But those remarks are generally referring to stress in our lives whether external or self-afflicted. We very rarely hear them spoken from a pursuer of wealth because 'Enough' was by-passed early in their journey for wealth and all its 'trappings.' Another over quoted saying is, "As long as you're happy. That's all that matters." But happiness is fleeting; the adrenaline rush from the acquiring of it lasts for such a short length of time. The goal posts for reaching 'Enough' and 'Happiness' are constantly widening. A decade ago my husband and I (after a lot of soul searching) gave away all our possessions to go to and teach English in China. I struggled with parting with the sentimental 'things' but took the pragmatic approach and got on with the business of planning our mid-life adventure together. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from off our shoulders and the freedom of our hearts and spirits was energizing. We lived amongst the rich and the poor in China and we were constantly amazed to witness real happiness in the lives of those who existed on a meagre wage and lived in very crammed conditions. They knew the key to happiness was contentment and when we learn to be content with what we have, we give ourselves the best opportunity to live our best lives. We thought we were reasonably well off before we left home, even after unburdening ourselves of our material possessions. Our part time jobs were sufficient to live comfortably whilst working in China. (We went for the experience, not to build our bank accounts) So when it was time to come home after a wonderfully fulfilling and rewarding 12 months we knew we'd have to start over again financially. But we left China a very wealthy couple.
material things can never fill the void of unhappiness, if you aint happy even with a million in the bank you will still be unhappy, as you have noted the suicide cases and most of them are with the rich, one person said happiness is an inside job
Agree entirely, and indeed, "Happiness is an Inside Job." That's a really good saying.
But but... I just had a chocolate cookie, that does work!
No, not really. Okay. Let's have another one then...
Yes, you're absolutely right. Which is why it's so dangerous to think of 'value', any kind of 'value' in a material or economic way...
Yeah but...! Actually, food is interesting because it does "help" sometimes, even if it's only through changing our brain chemistry for a bit.
We all have "value," but maybe we've forgotten how to measure that value. My value-- and yours-- does not lie in what we DO, but in who we ARE.
www loveley post on happines and your search for it denmarkguy
With love
harj : ) xoxo
Abstract artist
Good luck what is it? I feel more stable now that I understand and left illusion to want and own. I want to quote!
"What is life? Illusion.
Just shadows, just reflection.
The whole life is to dream
and dream yourself a dream."
Filling the empty space with value is great gain...value over riches all the way!!
Filling the empty space with value is great gain...value over riches all the way!!
very impression your post, I really like, I want to like you what is its secret?
if you wish please visit my blog, i need your support .thank you https://steemit.com/@muliadi
Gambar yang indah
I agree with you 100%. On one of my recents post called Wealth is about much more than just money I wrote about how there are other things that makes us happy and truly rich.
Good health, good family and good friends are all important if we want to feel whole and live a good life. Money is important and necessary. But it’s not enough.