Unload, show clear, hammer down and holster

"Sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can't tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way." - Tennis player Jim Courier

Shooter load and make ready. Standby...Beep! And so begins a course of fire in an IPSC handgun match. It's a familiar set of commands and yet I still get nervous every time I hear it. On that beep when the shot-timer starts I draw my loaded and holstered handgun, marry it up with my left hand as I bring it to bear on my target, aim downrange at my first target and squeeze that first round off in a explosion of energy, gunpowder, noise and of course physics. It's a set of actions that takes me about 1.45 seconds to complete, from holstered to my first shot, and then it repeats over and over as I run and move along the various elements of the stage, opening doors, navigating obstacles, avoiding no-shoot targets (good guys), slamming new magazines into the gun...Run, climb, move, kneel, kick open that door...Bang, bang, bang...In moments, mere seconds sometimes, it ends. Unload, show clear, hammer down and holster are the next words I hear and then the world opens up again. I emerge from the focused and closed world I've entered, I hear the sounds around me, feel the breeze on my face, the sun on my back, people talking...

The quote at the top of this post is one I heard a long time ago and I try to adopt it at those times when I compete. I don't always win, indeed I find myself towards the top, in the middle and down the back in equal measure. Each time I learn, develop and experience though which adds to my skills for the next time. That's the beauty of competing at a high level in a very competitive sport; There's always an opportunity to learn.

This weekend I'll be shooing a lot. The IPSC Club Championship is on at one of my clubs and despite not shooting for over 2 months (as I was overseas) I'm going to shoot. I will suck ass I'm sure, but it'll be a good warm up and will identify the areas I need to work on for an inter-club match in three weeks. (Where I don't want to suck ass.)

No matter where I shoot or how important the match it is critical to me that I compete with integrity, towards others and also myself. I don't hold back and compete fiercely of course but when I walk off the field (range) I walk off with pride, whether I won or lost, performed well or poorly. It's not hubris mind you, just pride in myself that I have given what I could, left it all out there on the course of fire and competed with integrity.

I don't think anyone likes losing, me especially, although I know I can't win all the time. In this world that celebrates mediocrity I'm a dinosaur it seems...The guy that strives no matter what, at everything I do and against all odds. I take ownership win, lose or draw, and am always looking to perform better than my most fierce competitor...Myself. This weekend will be no different.

Mediocrity doesn't sit well with me and yet I achieve those most ignominious results all the time. We all do. It's not through lack of effort though, it's through being beaten by someone better on the day. It happens. Shit happens. But I always try to guide my results towards those that I desire. If I didn't do so what would be the point of it all in the first place?