Cass and Hite

Though the situation has improved somewhat in recent years, generally speaking there are only two beers on offer when you go out for dinner in South Korea.

Ass or SHite?

These brands of brew have been around in Korea for decades and are often the only choices available to quench your thirst.

Think of your country's most generic, cheap, tasteless, bland, flavorless, unrefined swill and you'll have an idea of what I'm talking about here. Think, the Korea's version of bud light.

Think: Budweiser, Coors Light, Miller Labatt's, Molson or Foster's.

If one of these happens to be your favorite beer, then it's likely that you're suffering from a Traumatic Brain Injury causing you to loose your sense of taste.

Like their overseas counterparts, CASS and HITE are sold in vast quantities, heavily advertised and devoid of any residual qualities.

Among ex-pat friends is South Korea, CASS and it's main rival HITE are affectionately known as:

ASS and SHITE!!

The older generation in Korea can be forgiven for not knowing the difference between a good tasting beer and a bucket of bundaegi juice (silkworm pupae) but the younger generation has no excuse, other than being mind control victims since birth susceptible to the most base forms of advertising.

We HAVE a choice goddamnit, stand up for what is pure and good in this world!

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The CASS Ad

Gordon Ramsay

Fuuucking hell.

I almost spat out my 'SHite' when I saw this putrid CrASS Korean tv spot starring the celebrity chef!

In this advertisement, Ramsay actually exclaims several times

"SO, Fresh!".

HAVE YOU LOST YOU'RE FUCKING MIND?...GET OUT...get out of my kitchen!

Get off my Television screen, Gordon!

Right ffffucking now!

If you slow down the video, no forget that.

If you watch the commercial at normal speed, you can actually see Gordon grimacing as the putrid (C)ASS slides down the back of his throat. He LITERALLY almost chokes on the substance masquerading as a beverage.

"So (wretch), fresh"

This man's senses are under assault by the odious cascade of CASS.

In another version of the advertisement, that I unfortunately cannot find, Ramsay states, and I'm paraphrasing here -

"Whenever, I'm in London I have to have a CASS".

Whenever you're in London?

You have to have one of the worst beers imaginable?

RAMSAY! You're fired, get the fuck off my monitor! LEAVE.

When an individual who's entire livelihood centers around stimulating people's taste buds turns to the camera and blatantly lies about the quality of a product, it's over.

It's over, Gordon. This is an all time low, even for your reality tv standards.

Total SHite.

You've done CASS-trated yourself with your endorsement of a such a low level piss poor product.

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PS- I do not mean to offend anyone from South Korea who loves to drink CASS, but please do me a favor and visit your local micro-brewery or the imported beer aisle at E-mart and in time you will know I mean well.

Ffffiiiiightiiiiiing!