The gate to paradise is not what I thought it was

I used to always have a hard time starting my day. Just beginning any of my writing. The very moment I sit down and put pen to paper, the immense amount ideas I wanted to write down just suddenly stop. My mind turns as blank as the paper I am staring at, and this is frustrating to me. Same goes for when I want to start anything productive. Motivation to begin was hard.

However, once I do have it going, I tend to find out that I am more inclined to continue nonstop and be more consistent in the works than most people I have met and this boggled my mind for sometime as to why that was.

Where did this energy from within stem from and why is it sometimes that I have more somedays than others?

I had to find out. Something interesting about the human body and source of energy, had me thinking that I was going to find something new about myself. When I did found out, it was low point in my life and at the same time one of the highest for I finally knew what it was and what I had to change. Abstention from the physical orgasm.

It was remarkable to find how almost all of creation was connected to sex. 9 is the most powerful number and it is 9 that is connected to sex.