Generosity and the Power of Kindness

It has been inspiring to read some of the accounts surrounding #GivingTuesday, which is very meaningful to me, as I was taught from childhood to give of myself and of my time, by parents who led by example.

Both of my parents were musicians: my mother, a classically trained pianist, whose career was cut short by surgeries on both wrists; and my father, a child prodigy on piano whose favorite forms of expression were jazz, standards and show tunes, and who earned a dual degree in Music and Music Education from the USC School of Music, in L.A.

By the time I was a child, my dad was teaching elementary school in order to build a pension, and he and my mom would teach us crafts at the kitchen table, the results of which were often given to the children in my dad's classes, in South Central Los Angeles. We also baked and decorated Christmas cookies for them every year, made decorations for them, and brought them other treats throughout the year.

In high school, my mother inspired me to volunteer with Ingleside Mental Health Center, near our home, and for several years I occasionally brought my Newfoundland, Ebony, to commune with the kids there. I also started donating what little I could to charity, which for me, usually meant environmental organizations.

After moving to Santa Monica to attend Santa Monica College, I was walking with Ebony on the beach, when someone approached me with a petition to ban steel-jaw traps. In addition to being painful and cruel, steel-jaw traps are noted for harming and killing non-targeted species of wildlife, livestock, kids and family pets, as well as the animals actually targeted.

I volunteered on the spot, collecting over two and a half pages of signatures for them that afternoon, and I've been working toward banning the traps ever since. I also became involved with several marine conservation groups, including the American Cetacean Society and World Sea Life, and manned booths for both of them at various environmental fairs in Southern California, meeting a succession of really wonderful people in the process.

I've since continued giving, and volunteering, and have served on the Boards of Directors for several charities. And without exception I have always gained far more than I have given. There is deep satisfaction in being involved with helping others, in being part of the solution rather than part of the problem, and in doing my own small part in making the world a better place, which has long been my mission in life.

It is perhaps unsurprising that I now live in the Volunteer State. ;-)

Giving does not always have to be financial, though that is clearly important, but other forms of giving are important as well. As one example, my mom used to play a game when she was driving, where if she saw someone scowling at a traffic light, she would do everything in her power to get them to look at her, so that she could give them a big smile, as her goal was to make them smile. And far more often than not, she succeeded at her task, even when the person in question smiled a bit grudgingly at first.

Around the time I started college, I remember reading an article on a research study, which found that the act of smiling itself released endorphins in the brain, the feel good hormones, thus making you actually feel happier. I already smiled at people on a daily basis, but I began making a more concerted effort to do so, and over the years I have had a number of people tell me that this made a difference in their day, which was my goal all along. It also helped me to feel better, even during dark times, which helped me more than I can say.

Random acts of kindness count as well. When I lived in Florida, I made it an informal rule that every time I went over the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, I would pay not only my own toll, but also the toll for the car behind me. And what goes around comes around, because more than once, in different places and states, I have had others do the same for me, which always brightened my day.

One of the most inspiring and fulfilling groups I volunteered with is an organization called Santa's Angels, based in Redington Beach, Florida, which was started by a friend of mine. Lynne and her husband, along with a group of friends who belonged to the Redington Beach Property Owners Association, began a small, initially self-funded effort to adopt needy children throughout Pinellas County, who would otherwise not have a Christmas.

They spent the year collecting funds and gifts for the kids, and Lynne pressed her friends into service buying clothes, toys and other gifts, wrapping them all on her living room floor, and delivering them to the families. In addition to the gifts for each kid, the family was given the makings for Christmas dinner, including a turkey. Fast forward twenty years, and the group is still going strong, and is now a 501(c)3 accredited charity, operating under the auspices of Divine Charities, Inc., with an all-volunteer Board of Directors. 100% of donations go directly to the needs of the children.

My introduction was through our meditation group, which usually met at Lynne's house, several members of which had been helping to buy and wrap presents for the kids for years by then. I remember one family in particular, a young single mom with five kids, who was working full time and simultaneously putting herself through college in order to make a better life for herself and her children.

When I arrived with the gifts, the young mom handed me a beautiful and heartfelt handwritten letter, thanking me for being their angel, and for giving her kids the Christmas she could not yet afford to give them. One of her goals, once she got on her feet, was to give back to the community by supporting Santa's Angels and similar groups, and to teach her children to do the same. I cried on the way home.

You can check them out here: www.SantasAngels.org

I had the pleasure of being involved with many other wonderful organizations while I lived in Florida, including The Spring of Tampa Bay, which is the largest domestic violence shelter in Florida. Their facility is a model for other facilities around the nation, as they provide a full K-12 education on premises, meaning that at-risk children do not have to leave the safety of the shelter in order to be educated. This is a real concern, as non-custodial parents, abusive or otherwise, often kidnap children from their schools.

The Spring operates a thrift store, which provides clothing and household items to residents (who often come to the shelter with nothing but the clothes on their backs), as well as generating additional income for the facility. The Spring also provides community outreach programs to educate the public, including potential and past abusers, and thus work toward bringing about real positive change in the community.

They are a truly wonderful facility, with a small paid staff, and a whole host of volunteers. I was a member of the Spring Nighttime Auxiliary, the fundraising arm, which through an annual fashion show and other events funds a large part of the operating capital for the facility.

You can check them out here: www.TheSpring.org

Another wonderful facility is Hope Children's Home, which has been in operation since 1968, and provides a safe living environment for abandoned, abused, neglected and orphaned children, and also provides an onsite classroom facility.

My former husband became involved with them through his work with the Homeless Emergency Project (HEP), in Clearwater, for whom he handled all repairs and maintenance for their dental clinic, and he immediately began doing the same for Hope Children's Home, helping them to build their clinic from the ground up, and donating much of the needed equipment. They are a wonderful facility run by wonderful people.

You can check them out here: www.HopeChildrensHome.org

The Homeless Emergency Project (HEP) has since renamed themselves the Homeless Empowerment Program, which really describes what they do so much better. Started as a Homeless shelter, HEP has grown over the years to include a large and sprawling campus including a full dental clinic, an award-winning 353-bed shelter, a thrift store, vocational training, and much more. The vast majority of homeless persons who go through their program not only find and keep full-time employment, but most find independent housing, and are assisted all the way by the dedicated staff. Their goal is for everyone leaving their facility to be completely self-sufficient. I can't say enough good things about them.

You can check them out here: www.HEPEmpowers.org

Finally another organization that is near and dear to my heart, Second Chance for Strays, also based in Pinellas County, Florida, which rescues unwanted cats and kittens, vets them, and prepares them for adoption.

My girlfriend Joan was on the Board of Directors when I met her, and through her I adopted a number of animals for myself and my former spouse, including our late dog Sprinkles, and my lovely black kitty boy, Bear. I met Joan through her sister, Lynne, who started both Santa's Angels and our meditation group. Sadly, Joan passed away a few years ago, and I still miss her badly. She was one of a kind.

Second Chance for Strays is still going strong, and like Santa's Angels has an all-volunteer Board of Directors, most if not all of whom host a number of the strays in their own homes. They are a no-kill cat rescue, a wonderful group of people, do much-needed work, and they are great at making a little bit of money go a long, long way, thanks in large part to their network of volunteers, and their partnerships with area vets and pet supply companies. They regularly take in animals whose time has run out at high-kill shelters.

You can check them out here: www.secondchanceforstrays.com/aboutscfs

These are all accredited charities with which I have had personal experience, and can personally attest that when you donate your money, it is not going to some CEO making millions. These are real people doing boots on the ground real work, making a positive difference in their communities, and changing lives for the better.

Now that's something for which I am truly thankful.