Here’s what you need to do to get your ex back…
Then’s what you need to do to get your partner back
Give them time and space.
You may be allowed, “ Um. I’m looking for a way to get my ex-partner back, not push them further down. ”
But if you want to win your partner back, you have to give them time and space. Calling them non-stop, soliciting for them back, crying on the phone, and all of the effects we do when we’re hurt are a big turn-off.
It’s indeed further of a turn-off if your partner ditched you. They easily want space from your relationship. Texting and calling constantly isn’t a good idea.
Apply the No Contact Rule( and extend it to social media).
This bone can be painful, especially if you and your partner were in a long-term
relationship. It’s hard to stop talking to someone who’s been there for you for months or indeed times but is now no longer a part of your life. You may have been counting on them for emotional support for a long time, and going cold lemon is delicate.
While this rule is also about giving them space, it goes one step further.
Spend time with musketeers and family.
There was a time before you and your partner knew each other. Unless you’ve been dating the same person since the middle academy, you probably had a network of musketeers and family that you hung out with frequently.
Now is the time to rebuild these connections and direct on them. This way, you can start getting your identity back as the person you were before you met your partner.
Get a new hobbyhorse( or get back to an old one).
This is a great time to concentrate on a hobbyhorse, whether it be an old one or a new bone you’ve always wanted to take up.
Doing this is also a great way to ameliorate your confidence and help you heal from the break-up.
When I was going through a really bad bifurcation and felt like I had no control, I flash back to deciding to take the power of what I had complete control over
- How important I moved my body
- What I ate
- Whether or not I replied to my triggers
I worked out hard every day. I spent whatever free time I had planning further thoughtful refections. Whenever I did have free time, I set up that I didn’t obsess as poorly as I generally did because I was expending my energy in other areas too. ( in other words, when I had free time, I was too exhausted to watch as important).
No matter what, make sure you take some time to concentrate on yourself.
Start talking to other people and start dating again.
This sounds counter-intuitive, but it can help you get your partner back.
Once you’ve gained a bit of perspective, start seeing other people. This may feel super weird at first, especially when getting your partner back is what you’re concentrated on, but it can help.
By dating again, you give your partner clear communication that you’re moving on. And that you’re moving on without them.
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Take a realistic force on your relationship issues.
Take the time to figure out if your relationship issues are truly repairable and if your core values match.