How It Felt To Get Married
Getting married has always been one of most women's biggest dreams. We talk about it, we put that in our dream boards, we freely express our thoughts and feelings on that matter. However, in reality, it's not always as exciting and easy to face as we think it is. There are tons of undesirable things that happen behind the good news of getting married - preparations.
Now you might ask, "what are those undesirable things? what about those preparations?" Every woman who is engaged to get married has her own story. Each one of us has our own experiences - things that you may or may not relate to. Who knows? But what is our common ground? What is that one thing that all women or most women who have gone through wedding preparations experienced? I don't have statistics to show but I'm speaking from my personal experience and from the stories of married people whom I've spoken with. And yes, if you're saying STRESS, you're guessing it right.
Never in my entire life did I think that wedding preparations weren't fun. I always saw it as an exciting phase of one's life. But I was wrong. I was wrong to think that it was a walk in the park, that it was all bliss, stress-free. Every married or engaged woman can have a long list of what they have complained about and I'm going to tell you mine.
Here are the undesirable things that caused me stress:
People / Manpower
Budget
Cultural differences
Last-minute changes
Confusion with the suppliers
Guests inviting other people
You may have expected a long list but honestly, I don't think we need a dozen reasons to be stressed. This list of mine gave me stress BIG TIME. How? I will tell you about it one by one.
People/Manpower
As the saying goes, "two is better than one." But when you're working with people who are not really there 100%, then you're with the wrong people. Sad to say, sometimes, the people you think you can count on are the same people who will disappoint you and surprisingly give you more problems. There would be these people who will complain about the attire, will keep on complaining even if the only thing expected of them is just to have uniform color (not uniform fabric and design), and there will also be those who will insist on wearing what they just want to wear. Stressful, right? I'm not saying this happens to all couples preparing their wedding but it does happen. Do pray that you won't have to face this or avoid having entourage participants, ushers and usherettes from different places. You will always have big problems. This was our mistake. Yes, they may have reasons, valid reasons why they couldn't cooperate as you expected them to, but still, I strongly suggest that you choose your manpower well. Really well.
Budget
How about the budget? Oh girl, a lot of things will have to adjust if your budget doesn't fit in your dream wedding. The number of your guests will be lessened, your venue and menu will be changed, and the list can still go on... and on... and on. So my tip? Be sure to know what you have in your hands and what you can do with it. If you're curious about our guests, we initially planned to have 300 but it went down to 250 but we still had our waiting list just in case some guests couldn't make it to our wedding.
Here's how I personally customized our official invite:
It's okay to be strict with the seats. This will save you from additional expenses. As for the gifts, being direct to the point won't hurt as well. It might even heal your financial wounds, at least.
If you think we printed this out, NO. This was actually a two-page invite. The first page included the primary details and yes, we decided to go for the modern and practical e-invite. Thanks to the GreetingsIsland app. We were able to save around $177-$200 just for the invitation. Relieving? YES, definitely.
Cultural Differences
Now let's go to the next stressor, cultural differences. They say "love can move mountains." That's true. But you'll be surprised to see how it really is to move mountains on your preparation. Given the cultural differences, sometimes it's hard to know when to give way and who to give way. If you and your fiancé decide to give and take, then you two are moving mountains. I wouldn't tell you anymore about what we were able to overcome, but if you do experience arguing about cultural differences, this is what I suggest you do: Talk it out. Be open. Discernment is very important for family happiness. After all, you're now starting to build your own family. As it is said in Proverbs 24:3, "By wisdom a house is built up, And by discernment it is made secure." Please do remember that.
Last-Minute Changes
Moving forward, let me now tell you about the last-minute changes. People say this is normal and I can unbelievably attest to that. We planned our wedding for a year and some of the things that gave me stress quite last-minute were the bearers and emcees having to be replaced two months before the big day. You may say, "Oh there's still two months. That's not really short notice." Well, guess what? It may sound easy to handle but it's unbelievably quite stressful.
Confusion with Suppliers
As I have said earlier, I honestly didn't think that preparations could get really STRESSFUL. In the first few months, we were really excited. As time passed and as we got closer to our wedding day, things started to get harder to manage, not to mention that you could still even have problems with your suppliers' inconsistencies. And so this is also what I was talking about when I mentioned budget earlier. If your budget is tight, many will have to adjust - your dream wedding, basically. Why? You can't have all the suppliers that you want.
So when choosing your suppliers, budget will really play a big part as well. Be sure to be practically wise because you can actually be practical without really being wise. Be sure to be both. But how do you know you're both? Well, some people with tight budget would opt to have low-budget suppliers, and that's okay if they're able to give good package, good service, definitely a good deal for the price they offer. Otherwise, don't get them. You'll be practical but unwise. Remember, if you're just patient enough to look around, you'll find lots of suppliers - newbies that are meticulous, competitive and budget-friendly. When you do, this is when you become practically wise.
How about your suppliers' working style? Are they organized? Do they stick to their words? Do they not change their minds every now and then? I also got stressed here. We got one hotel to supposedly hold our ceremony and reception and to accommodate us including a lot of our guests. Different people entertained our queries, and different answers were given to us from time to time, plus there were lots of time where they would not even answer. But we had no choice but to keep up with that because they're considered the best accommodation place in town. Your patience will be really put to test in circumstances like this. Thankfully, we ended up having the hotel for the preparation and accommodation only. They gave us their other event's place for the wedding and it turned out better. As for my gown, I got a little embarrassed with my gown tailor also. She wasn't sticking to her words. Sometimes I felt like I should have just bought or rented a ready-to-wear or have just looked for another supplier. But it was late already and at that time, I could just hope and pray that my gown turned out really gorgeous. That's what we're paying for, right?
Now, why am I telling you all of this? To prepare. To prepare for your preparation. If you're thinking it's always exciting and it's a walk in the park, let me remind you, that's exactly how I was during the first few months of our preparation. I was enjoying everything - canvassing and all. I loved the process. Little did I know that stressors would pop up along the way.
Is that all that you have to prepare for? Well, not really. I'm happy to tell you that, despite it not being all bliss, it's actually also NOT all stress. There are still a lot of things to be thankful for - slowly having everything fall into place, receiving unexpected blessings, feeling the full support of concerned friends without money involvement, getting help from your family and relatives, and embracing the fact that you're just a few sleeps away from becoming the Mrs. of your answered prayer - your man, your groom, your husband-to-be. Nothing beats realizing that you're slowly getting to that day, to that moment. I remember how excited I was about that day. I honestly believe that my married life is the best phase of my life. And to give you a glimpse of our blissful union, please take a look at our Wedding SDE
and honeymoon vlog