Shocking Tomato Fraud Exposed
Clear Lake, Iowa. AP Newswire/Newsflash for immediate release.
In a breaking news story this morning a Clear Lake man may soon be charged with tomato fraud for allegedly submitting a staged photo of a large beefsteak tomato next to a child's basketball. Claiming a world record breaking tomato the size of a regulation basketball, Nommensen had hopes of national recognition in the National Enquirer for fame and fortune.
" Can you just imagine what I could have sold those seeds for?"
His alleged co-conspirator, Eddie, AKA "Big Eddie", is well connected at the church with his 'Nana' working there.
Asked about his shameful implication of a mere child, Nommensen replied. " Think about this like an adult for a minute, why don't you? It was his toy basketball, Hello! It was all his idea you know, get real!" As he was being led away.
Ed Walker, aged 9 months, is not expected to be charged according to Cerro Gordo County Garden Enforcement officer Mortimer Cramden. Adding "You know that tomato fraud rears its ugly head about this time every year!"