An Ode To My Weed Eater On Wheels

Cheerful Musings Regarding One Of My Favorite Machines

I am below average height, a fact that doesn't bother me too much. In fact, I am a good sport about my diminutive stature and play along with all of the short jokes hurled down upon me from above. There are some things about being vertically challenged that I find truly taxing, and weed eating used to be be one of them.

A standard weedeater probably works just fine for someone 5'4" or taller, but for us stature-lacking folks it presents an ergonomic issue. I would have to hold the weed eater aloft, about shoulder high and then swing it in a weed-whacking swath of unwanted foliage massacring doom. Don't get me wrong, I like a good muscle scream inducing workout, but running a weed eater in that particular manner was more Spanish Inquisition than Beachbody workout.

One day I was wandering through our local military base exchange when I saw it: the weed eater on wheels. I quickly bought the yellow and black machine, my little bumble bee of plant masticating doom, and was soon happily wreaking chlorophyll-tinged destruction.

A smile born out of pure weed-slain joy

We have a noxious weed that has really done the "shock and awe" treatment on our local eco-system: Spotted Knapweed. If you can keep it from blooming it helps to thwart its spread. My little weed eater on wheels annihilates knapweed like a knife through buttah! I've been known to spend hours rolling around my twenty acres of shrubbery slicing through unwanted foliage all while wearing my Bluetooth headphones and singing at the top of my non-shoulder burning lungs.

Whomever created this marvelous bit of weed slaying-engineering, I salute you. It is because of this machine's existence that at the end of a many hour battle, covered in plant offal, that I look out upon my neat and tidy kingdom in contented and weed destroyed happiness. Mighty mowing machine, you are the reason that my gratitude fully shines just like the leaves of my rhubarb plant, for it is because of you, little weedeater, that the pie plant of tanginess can stretch its leafy form fully and un-encumbered toward the sun.

The rhubarb can now spread its non-weed crowded leaves!

A semi-unrelated side note of clarification: I was challenged to a rather diverting scrimmage volleyball game by my sixth grade team tonight. I might have played like I was a sixth grader, and that bit of exertion after a long day might have made me feel a bit exhausted and giddy. So, depending on how you felt about the above blog post I give you a heartily offered "Your Welcome" or a "My apologies." I present them both with equal and heartfelt sincerity. Night all!!

The final twilight sets upon many of the overgrown bits of foliage in this scene, may they rest in pieces in the morn...

And as always, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's weed gut covered iPhone.