Fat Souls.

Lords of the Fallen is, to put simply, a Dark Souls clone. If Dark Souls had clunky controls and put on a few dozen kilograms in weight.

Now don't get me wrong, I like a challenging game as much as the next Sadist who's far too friendly with Sandpaper. (If you didn't get that joke, consider yourself lucky.) however, I like my pain to be enjoyable, fun and entertaining. Unfortunately, Lords of the Fallen struggles to provide that.

The game starts out with an interesting and engaging cutscene that has nothing to do with the game and ironically makes you wish you were playing whatever that game was about instead.

The story is erm- something. I didn't really care enough to keep track. You're some bad person who did bad things and now you're probably trying to do good or some shit, who knows, honestly.

The game starts out with a Mini-Boss fight. It's cool because it's a tutorial so you can't really die since the game pauses to let you bloc or attack and all that. Problem is, if you die AFTER the tutorial, the Mini-Boss respawns and you're left to fight it with out the help of a tutorial. For comparison, imagine Dark Souls starting you against a Black Knight. Yeah, not very fun.

The next issue I have with this game is if you don't use big weapons and big armour you're screwed. Light armour offers no protection and lighter weapons hit like sticks so it's heavy or nothing. Now if you like heavy classes this game MIGHT be for you, if you ignore the other issues.

The story is un-engaging, the gameplay and controls as mentioned are clunky. The enemies are all pretty much the same thing and of the four or so bosses I fought only one really stood out and that's because it had a lazy gimmick attached to it.

I gave up playing the game after 4 or 5 hours because after passing through some portal the game was terrible at giving directions so I ended up running around in circles for an hour until I realised that I really don't like the game enough to Google a solution.

Now, I guess I could recommend Lords of the Fallen in the same way I could recommend self-erotic asphyxiation. It's kinda enjoyable but if you get too into it you'll probably end up killing yourself.

If you somehow don't die after a few hours of trying it, you'll take a break to look back on the afternoon and realise that you don't remember half of it due to a lack of oxygen to the brain and the parts that you do remember where actually more painful than fun.

So in the end, Lords of the Fallen gets a 4/10 from me.