Old Man Yells at Clouds – Kingdom Hearts III Loading Screens.

Yep, this is what this series of articles has devolved into, me yelling about an insignificant loading screen. Really this felt like too much of a minor thing to bitch about in a proper review, but it irritated me all the same. Kingdom Hearts III has the most insufferably stupid loading screens I have ever seen in a video game.

Do you know those really stupid memes people post online about if certain characters from games or an anime had a facebook page or a twitter account? Well, that's the loading screens of Kingdom Hearts III. The only difference is occasionally those memes could be funny or at least so outlandish to get a laugh, but these are something else.

In the style of a Facebook post, a character says something that's going on in the story. That would be bad enough if they didn't insist on including hashtags in the post. Fucking Hashtags. Let's just break down every reason why this is stupid.

Firstly, there are no actual punchlines or jokes. It's just a character stating things that are currently going on and including random hashtags. Firstly, if no one else is using the hashtag #Twoandahalfpints then no one else is ever going to see that post. What reason would anyone have to search for it? The only reason to include something like that is as some sort of ironic joke, and in this case, I really don't think it is considering how often they do that.

Next up, why would any of these characters even know what a hashtag is? The whole premise of pictures and the phone was literally introduced when Sora go the Gummi Phone, which was completed after the beginning of this game. Again, if these posts were at least some kind of joke it would be fine, but the lack of punchline just kind of forces you to think about the implications of these posts. And it looks like either these characters have no idea what hashtags actually are and are just using them because they think they have too, or they are using them for some kind of purpose that is completely alien to us the player.

This is the last one, but it's something that happens in a few games that bother me, and that is companies using lame internet memes in their game, and not realizing just how cringy it is and how badly this is going to age. And even if it did, Square Enix is a professional company, and they are resorting to outdated internet memes. Maybe it's just me, but I have higher standards for paid professionals then internet shitposters.

And yes, I am aware this is probably the single stupidest thing I have ever complained about on this blog. But this irritated the hell out of him, and I am aware this is way too petty of a complaint to include in my already long review of the game. So yeah, pretty much the most 'Old Man Yells at Clouds' article I have ever written. But just too end this, here are more screenshots I took.