Prologue - Dee

The true walk in the life of Arma3 outtake from myself & Pedro (Our squad on Arma).

This is going to be a 2x person review what you see in this will be true events (YES) true events based on true stories...

Now before we get stuck in we are going to mention that what your about to read seems like massive hate it’s not we love Arma that much that we have each put over 1'800 hrs into the can yes that is EACH, the stories will be serious some more rewarding and helping (guidence) That will be me writing this and then Pedro with the comedy in his game play true fact!
...No chickens were harmed in the writing of this story time apart from Pedro eating his KFC

p.s
Pedro is one of the most glitchy players I've ever crossed No matter what he is doing, where he is going or who he is fighting he breaks his own game, glitches without even trying never fails to break a game his best time for doing so is 2 seconds

Now if you’re looking at buying Arma3 be prepared to re mortgage your house 2x over and possibly sell your car and the computer that runs it just to fund the DLCs (downloadable content) And use all your Hard Drive space also at the same time so be prepared to delete all your favourite porn content that you hid from your partner be prepared to sacrifice 200gb+ on your Hard Drive or a small Goat.

Yep its extremely costly but hey its ARMA its the cyber gaming version of online gambling where the odds at winning is next to nothing and chances of becoming a millionaire in game straight away YEP you guessed it NOT Frappening and if that is not good enough there is even a gambling slot machine in your XM8 and again you do not win , even if you did win Big and bought yourself a Tank be prepared to give it away (SHOT IN THE FACE ) and have it taken off you. Ever wanted to kick flip your Tank here’s your chance only takes a rock and the infamous tiny bush to roll into, congratulations you will have your very first flying Tank like skipping a stone across water and watching it roll thinking how many times will you roll before you land get sick and land to your death

Firstly, GLITCHES! SO, FUCKING, MANY GLITCHES.

E.g, I'm hard scoped in on a tower around 800M away, and I see the silhouette of a man running up the tower stairs, but hold on.. there is a metal wall between me and the man. that’s right, his "figure" appeared in the far side of the wall,
so I could see him, but not hit him, I have also seen feet or heads through solid walls etc. Now, let's move onto the method of advertising DLC.
When you play online you have quite a large variety of weapons to choose from, and no real way of knowing what version of the game they come from, such as vanilla, or a certain DLC pack, so should you inevitably pick one for a dlc pack you don't own, you will have the option to use it, but what's this?
Oh yeah, the game will just randomly throw a box up in the centre of your cross hairs (and I mean dead... Fucking .... Centre) telling you what DLC pack your gear is from, and saying that you need to buy it to stop the messages showing up or it will randomly flick your screen into light/dark grey checkers telling you to buy the DLC so yes go ahead buy it add it to your ever growing Debt from selling your car houses ect and get another hard drive you’re going to need it.

MULTIPLAYER GAME - Dee .

What Arma wish to tell you:
Teamwork is a major part of the ArmA series as it tends to be more of a military simulator than your typical FPS. Being a simulator, it is not wise to run off and try to 'Rambo' missions. Example, if you join a server with 15 people on you should use that to your advantage.
Work as a group to complete objectives, follow orders. If your Team Leader is counting on you to lay down suppressive fire to cover your advancing team
you should not run off and do something else. If this is the case you may need to find a different game mode to play.

Some multiplayer servers to avoid at the start:
Altis/Stratis life: I wouldn't recommend joining a life server for your first experience of ArmA, it isn't representative of any of the actual game play at all, despite its rampant popularity. Its just a roleplaying mission with a cops vs robbers vibe where most of your time is spent making money through various mostly-non-combat means and then you run around messing with people and role playing. Maybe try this later down the line.
This is a whole different story from single player. You may be a bit overwhelmed at the start, since there are so many different game modes & mission files almost all missions are made by the community, so you will find a wide variety in the server browser, each completely different.
Each server owner will have different variations of Mods installed on the server from Cup weapons ryan zombies, Tryk uniforms so so many mods to name but it is a VERY long list but your a3 Launcher will give you the option for it to automatically install for you click ok and let it do the job for you, oh reminds me before you actually play via A3 launcher you will have to go into your steam library and right click on Arma3 go to your settings and verify your integrity of the game, because you will not be able to play most servers if you have not done that go ahead and play your prologue after that follow the steps above by opening steam then a3 launcher which will open Arma for you, and go experiment with different servers tell you what you need to go and actually know what does happen, choose your location and as you spawn in you will find yourself free falling from the sky use your mouse wheel you open parachute and then WSAD keys to direct you in the direction you wish to you but remember as you are about to hit the ground slow your speed down by pressing

Welcome to Arma - Pedro .

Arma3 is a great Simulator, Not a game. it’s the grandfather and the start of many other games that you see today. Anyone who started way back on this sim knows this is where it all began.
Arma3 itself is amazing, beautify designed and an engine well coded to the point they make sure this world is well a truly simulated However this review is not about the default Arma3 and its blood hungry campaign, no this review is about the Modded multiplayer side and all its consequences and struggles, once entering this side of the sim there is no going back.
In a way this sim would be perfect but the mods don’t do this sim justice as the sad part is the Modder’s only concerned is how big their turd is or which turd offers more and we all know we don’t normally compare turds but wait we can. there is a website, all these Modder’s need to do its work together to get the coding right and to make sure they work well together but instead bugs form and break other mods and mods break other mods making this sim extremely buggy and has more buggs appearances then lonely toons saying “what’s up doc” and this why we are doing this review.

Don’t get me wrong, In no way I’m I saying don’t play this sim, don’t be misled as this is the crappies sim as its not, in fact a lot of fun memories are of this sim and for every bug discovered is another reason to laugh and keep playing. As the saying goes “its Arma deal with it” or “what happens in Arma stays in Arma”

SPAWN - Pedro

Spawning is a difficult word for me, it just doesn’t happen. Each server is different and offers different ways to spawn and at some point, you will experience some or all those problems when playing
Ground Spawning:
Spawn? What spawn, you mean putting me under a rock? Ohh wait respawn will fix the problem! under a building, thanks. No no, even better in the ocean. ground spawning sucks, unless its in an open area/field that’s great but nowhere to loot so you run to the closes barn, to only find a fap mag and some tissues, some get lucky and find a rubber ducky but watch out for players as they give you a good fucky, they seem to find your prison bitch orange uniform attractive, as they can’t get enough of the “Better Prisoners” dirty magazine. my preference is page 3.

Air Spawning:

Sometimes spawning in air on servers this happens. No parachute but the sim thinks you’re on the ground so you kind of walk mid-air like Peter Auty singing “walking in the air” to only fall to your death and restart this process.

my only advice is hit that para high and pray you don’t bug out. One glitch inter titular was after 1,000 feet on some servers don’t pull your para and mash “W” and “shift” this would allow you to stay in mid-air, floating, you can help guide team members mid battle acting like a freaking seagull eyeing up them big ass chips. But hurry don’t let admin catch you or you would be coming down like a rock.

Complete Bug Spawning:
no spawning is a body pile of a sausage fest, you can cry for help via chat but there is no admin, off occasion admin are around, he would probably say it’s not my problem or it’s not my fault it must be yours. The actual fix for this problem is you must be removed from the server database and wait. I have a feeling its due to mod where your gear isn’t saved properly and this tends to appear when they have done and update server side.

SPAWN - Dee

Some servers they will allow air spawn with a parachute but some Spawn you on the ground.

Air Spawning:
Air -So I spawn in and tried to open my parachute it wouldn't let me as falling through the air, lifeless body in beautiful Orange overalls panicking as I can’t open the Parachute on my backpack asking admin to help to which there is no reply. I slam to the floor lifeless and only thinking shit my Original dead body has de-spawned I having to choose my location all over again and try to remember where I died before hand. but it you do survive on the next jump you’ll be sure to land in a tree parachute magically disappears as if you’re on the ground yes, its Arma you are on the ground Honest...... to which you fall to your death again. but if you do manage to survive KUDOS you made the jump
Bare in mind though not all missions are the same some are easy, medium, hard and extreme depending on the skill level of the mission there will be more AI, to which they will roam flank you drive vehicle but once you have taken all the AI out it will pop up on the screen telling you that it has cleared but be vigilant
as there may be camping players on the same mission so don't just run straight in to loot everything and take the price pay attention to what’s going on around you look for movement, listen for shots in the distance and take them out before they take you out if you think it’s clear get down there and get your winnings.
Spawning in the air but very confused at how when you look back upon yourself there is no FUCKING plane starting an episode of prison break from this point onward there are various scenarios , But one you could hope to yourself on falling to the ground where nothing happens you ironically SURVIVE ..... (famous jacob words) What you lying for ... It's Arma

Ground Spawning:
again choose your location, Be prepared to spawn in under a rock typical glitch and being surrounds by Zombies thinking No!!! what the fuck do I do ,
once you are in you will find you will not have any loot on you what so ever, get to the nearest buildings , find gun , ammo , clothing , back pack , vest , medical , food and drink
Depending on the server it may have Zombies on there which you will find they will spawn in major cities and towns so think fast and always stay on your toes, don't think its Ok to approach and have a cup of tea with it ...

LOOTING, GEAR & WEAPONS - Dee

GUN Rifles - Winchester Mosin-nagant Lee Enfield M14 FN FAL
Assault - .AK-74 .AKM .AKS-74U .G36C .G36K .L85A2 .M16A2 .M4A1 .M16A4 .PKM .RPK 74 .M249 SAW .M240 .Mk 48 Mod 0
Snipers - .CZ 550g .DMR .M24 .M40A3 .SVD Dragunov .Sa58P
Melee - Baseball bat MeleeCrowbar Crowbar Hatchet Machete
Cloths - Civilian Clothing Hero Camouflage Clothing Ghillie Suit Bandit Skin

Ok so items you will surely need are as follows
Backpack, Compass, GPS, Hatchet, Box Of Matches, Military Flashlight, Toolbox, Watch, Radio

Meds
Medical supplies, such as Antibiotics, Bandages, Wipes and Morphine medical areas have a large amount of medical supplies.
These are the only places where Mod: Blood Bags may be found.
These include Hospitals & Medical tents
Medical boxes at Helicopter crash sites and hospitals
Always keep your eye on your health , thirst and hunger levels you will typically find this at the bottom of the screen a water drop and a knife
and fork icon will indicate your thirst level in % dont let it fall below 25% you can find food and drink in all towns/cities double click and consume
and loot them off dead zombies , players , AI , and even buy them in traders
medical - always carry a healthy supply of instadocs , vispirin , and bandages as these will stop you getting sick and health you if your health is low .

LOOTING, Gear & Weapons - Pedro

So apart from finding fap mags and tissues or Dee’z Nuts what else is there, well depending on the mod many useless items are at hand when spawning in. empty cans, generators, Some kind of sexy zip tie which is used on players if you could get close enough, watch out for dee she’ll lock you in her secrete cell. Running around eating Cheeto and mount dew seem to be best loot. But I suppose been locked up for so long in prison to then be thrown out of a plane I suppose anything is good enough.
There have been times where you spawn, many hours later still walking around town to only be shot in the face by a player doing the same or some spawny ass killer sat with good gear 2k away. Killing off all the bambies because he clearly can’t play with other PVP players. Maybe they are
compensating with big gun due to their tiny 1inch dangly death after releasing they can’t do much. Bambie killing is not a sport it’s a waste of ammo, move on sucker and let me loot.
There isn’t much bugs when looting apart from the odd one it looks like one things and turns out to be another again I can’t stress its most likely the mods.

This concludes PART 1: In our run down of true life events within game follow and like to watch for part 2 tomorrow