Confessions of an Online Gambler - $40,000 Lost
Do You Want To Feed The Flames?
Laying face down prone on the carpet is never a comfortable position. It is submissive and one I didn’t wish I was in as I beat myself up inside wondering how I squandered over $40,000 in less than 24 hours. $40,000 I couldn’t afford to lose. $40,000 that was two year’s worth of income from my current job.
Gambling is a bit like fire. It is relatively harmless when you are playing cards with friends for a few dollars. But a small taste of victory can fan the flames into a roaring flame that is sure to burn you in the end. That is especially true to those of us who thrive on adrenaline. The rush of betting $2,000 on a single hand of blackjack and winning over $3,000 must feel similar to the rush a drug user feels when the drug is plunged into their vein from a syringe.
The high from gambling doesn’t last long, and unless you are extremely careful, it will leave you badly burned.
I can’t exactly recall the first time I started gambling online, but I know it makes some dull Monday Night Football games 100 times more exciting when you have $500 riding on the outcome.
I didn’t start out with a desire to bet a lot. I put $100 on an online gambling site and wagered on a few sports games with little success. Occasionally I would win slightly larger payouts and this led me to transition to the online blackjack casino.
I played just one game called Options Blackjack (for any gamblers interested in knowing how this differs from normal blackjack the rules are here at Options Blackjack Rules). I used quite a simple strategy and would bet a dollar and double it if I lost, all the way up to $1,000. I found a bug in the game that tipped the odds in my favor just a bit and slowly found myself ahead $40,000.
That might not be a lot of money for you, but I don’t come from a wealthy family or background. That’s a large sum to me and after I won this much, you can imagine how giddy and full of adrenaline I was. I thought I had found a way for long term success.
How wrong I was
Sustaining gambling winnings is something only the very best elite players can do. There is a reason the house stays in business. It’s because they win. Instead of taking the advice of my parents and pulling that money out, I made one of the most foolish financial decisions of my life.
I decided since I had done so well with smaller bets, I should transition onto larger bets, fueling the fire until I was betting $2,000 and losing badly. A gambler rarely has the mindset of “I lost half let me cash out.” It’s usually more along the lines of “I lost half, I have to bet more to get back to where I was.” Soon I had burned all the money I had and was left with mere pocket change of ashes and coals to continue the fire analogy.
Those few nickels and dimes were soon accompanied by logs to fuel the fire to the tune of $12,000 between my 401K and Roth IRA (Never ever do this). Those logs quickly burned up and this time there was no more fuel for the fire and all that was left was ashes. Credit cards maxed out and savings withdrawn, I was barely making ends meet.
I added up the total wins and losses and the sum total was well over $1,000,000. I never really thought I had a problem and always thought that the next hand would start my losing streak
This is how I ended up prone on the floor. I knew I had to tell my parents and couldn’t continue to hold onto the façade that everything was alright, when I knew that I was broke not only financially, but emotionally. A fake smile cannot cover the deepest felling you have even though it may lead others to believe you are happy.
I told my parents and as disappointed as they were in my decisions, they didn’t turn their back on me or leave me to drown in my own debt. They showed me mercy in the same way that the prodigal son of Luke 15:11-32 received.
In that parable, the son takes his inheritance and squanders it all only to be betrayed by his friends once he has no more money. He goes back to his father expecting to possibly be a servant, but instead the father embraces him and throws a party since his son returned. I did not receive a party for my actions, but the parallels between our two stories are easily visible.
I learned a difficult $40,000 dollar mistake that day. I’m still working my way out of the debt repaying what I owe to my parents. I have very little discretionary money, but I wouldn’t trade any amount for the love and mercy my parents showed me.
While everyone is free to do as they wish, I urge you to carefully think over what internet gambling can lead to. For some it is just like a bonfire. You put some logs in a controlled pit and make some smores and enjoy some fun times, but If you are like I was and you let a little spark go on a field, you have a very low chance out getting away unscathed.
I know I learned my lesson, and hopefully I can prevent at least one other person from having to learn the way I did.
If this isn't a red flag from 5dimes.com (one of the most respected online casinos) I don't know what is
Wow, that must be tough losing that much money. I've lost less than that playing around with online business ideas, and it still bothers me.
You hear stories of people losing their wife, family, etc by getting an addiction at a nearby casino, the sad thing about online gambling is you can do it all in the comfort of your own home without the free drinks and people around.
Exactly. While it was my own fault and I will not place the blame on anyone else, it is far to easy for people to deposit vast sums of money without anyone knowing. It is an addiction, and is something some people are more susceptible to.
I hope this story gets upvoted
Thank you. While I would love that, if I were to simply have the ability to stop someone from falling into this trap it will have been worth the time and effort that went in to this piece. Any sort of promotion from yourself to others who may appreciate this article would be greatly appreciated @knircky. I don't beg for votes, but will gladly accept them if users feel that this sort of content is that that should be rewarded.
@bendjmiller222 thank you for sharing your experience! I definitely believe that the biggest step towards a successful life is first getting a control on ourselves and our addictions.
Learning is a spiritual experience
~ Np
Yes until we control ourselves, there is no point trying to aim towards large goals unless we want to end up disappointed.
Ya , those places rip you off , my husband was playing roulette online for free and killing it. He started an account with 100 dollars and 3 spins later it was gone.
💋 @halo 💋
Good point. Being online and most are oversea sites I think they lack the regulations probably. At least offline casinos get their machines inspected by the state's gaming commission as far as I know.
@bendjmiller222 Thank you for sharing your experience which is an abject lesson in the dangers of "chasing the money" for anyone.
I know it must have been a very humbling and humiliating experience for you and I love your analogy with the Prodigal Son. You came out ok - your family didn't reject you or abandon you - and that is great.
Not to belittle your experience in any way whatsoever, but my definition of an addict, as opposed to the heavy gambler (or any other addiction) is:
someone who has lost the ability to stop
I know it was bad, but you could have ended up adding a zero or two to that $40K. Best wishes for the future. Peace :)
I could have ruined a marriage, lost a house or numerous important things. In some ways I am glad I only had that much to loose and I learned before I tapped into real retirement money. Hopefully I can be an object lesson to those who are thinking about or are already involved with gambling money they cannot afford to lose.
Not only is it quite easy to put money in online, but they make it much more difficult to withdraw. It is a rush that I now limit to once a year march madness pools as a fun hobby of entertainment instead of a serious life altering problem.
Btw, I've been there... on both sides of the coin, both as a bookie and as a gambler. It's not my opinion I am offering, it is my personal experience. Things you said could have were a reality in my life.
Online casino? Those are the real gangsters ! This is absolutly crazy and I had no idea that you can gamble for that much money from your computer. Any addiction can turn people's lives into misery and hell in just a few seconds. Your raw and honest story really touched me, especially how your parents reacted . You are blessed to have them. Those debts will be gone sooner than you think. Money is like an energy. Let it float naturally. Once you are behind, our thoughts are too focused and the energy stuck. Oh and believe in justice :) you will be ahead of the game of life again as long as you stay away from those casinos
Hello @bendjmiller222, I have mentioned you in my post.
https://steemit.com/steemit/@justoneartist/the-game-can-you-make-money-from-gambling
I hope you can quit from gambling habit... I wise better thing happen to you, nice.. keep going on :)
Thank you! I no longer gamble and have it under control, but I appreciate your kind words.
@bendjmiller22 Thanks for sharing! I'am glad to hear that you managed to stop before it got even worse and that you have a loving and caring family!
Having a loving caring family is something that means the world to me. We aren't a perfect family (I've made my share of very foolish selfish decisions) but we are always there to support one another. I know a lot of people would have been out on their own if they were found to have done some of what I had done.
Not everyone has a family that is willing to extend the two powerful words listed here to them.
And I am also glad I stopped before I could have ruined a lifetime savings, gambled away a house, or destroyed the trust of a spouse.
If you don't mind me asking, what was the exploit you found that tipped the odds in your favor?
I'll see if I can remember exactly but it was along the lines of when the dealer had a certain card (ace) and you had the option to buy insurance and see if the dealer had blackjack, the dealer would never have it. It was a few years ago, but I know I played so many hands that it almost became second nature. It might have been a slightly different bug, but it was along those lines. It is a quite interesting game, as you can choose to take a payout (depending on the odds at any time) You can also make even more money by getting a blackjack and hitting it further so not only can you get 3:2 payout, but even more if you decide to risk it. It would be worth playing a few games for you if you wanted to fiddle around with it. I do believe it was a fair game and would have been fun to play a dollar here or there, but I got far too greedy.